gosh...i actually forgot my password and had to try several before getting it right!!
mati la ke laut blog ni.
How long has it been? a year? probably..Afea is about 1 yr 5 months now..and i think my last blog was when i was about to have her? was it? ok...it was that long ago. i kid u not!!
its 2013. yes..well..mid of 2013..and again, my new year reso was to loose weight.
I had the same sort of reso too when i celebrated my last birthday back in Sept 2012, did loose some weight..about 2 kilos of it by not eating carbo..and a hell of everything. But of course, the minute u start fitting in that old jeans that u couldnt fit anymore (really peep..i can only put it up to my knee..and i had all strecthy materials..u bet i strech it to the MAX!!) then u start celebrating with cakes and what not..and....suddenly u realised you weight more than the original weight before u start ur non carbo diet!! sheesshh...
But this year..i think i had to start la..not to look pretty and nice and va va voom..but more of healthy reason. yet..BP is forever skyrocketing high..and i had attacks of migraines every now and then.
and looking at the faces of my kids...i serious feels that they cant survive and be what i want them to be (yeah i know bad mommy mode) if im not there to guide them. and plus i have 2 girls..i do wanna go out shoppin with them and have girls talk when they grow up. Though the likelihood that they dont want to have anything to do with me is quite high...but lets not go there until we get there shall we?!!
SO ..today...this morning i weight 79.1kg. i ate quarter portion of laksa, a bite of Afea's roti (she threw it..what am i suppossed to do..tak baik membazir!!) and couple of bites of pau choc, for breakfast.
and yes people..u get it right..this blog will be my diet blog. dont bother reading it..its just gonna be my daily things on what i ate today posts. totally boring and totally appetite supressing!!
ciao ciao
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
of the 3rd One
Let me start with how this lil girl is doing...
yes..the small miniature girl born on 12 August 2011 at 1.67kg is now a healthy almost 8kgs girl at 11 months old this coming 11 July. I have not written anything about her - the early months because of the worrying and the recent months - simply im too lazy to restart blogging.
But now looking back..and reading my previous post - i think i should re-blogged. its good for the soul. And mak punya urat urat yg dah banyak putus ni - so senang la nak ingat balik what i did when i did it.
Anyhows..her name is Afea Razan. A simple befitting name of her then condition. Afea maksudnya sihat wal'afiat kot. Hahahha she was so small we were scared of losing her. I was such in low spirit when she was in incubation for a week. Senang cerita - saya takut anak saya mati. It was such a bad bad depressing feeling. takut anak kena pijak la..takut ada penyakit la..takut retarded la..fuhh macam macam ok. She was only as long as my elbow and was so small her eyes were bulging out. When i hold her in my arm, i just have her on 1 hand and people often mistaken i was carrying a bunch of kain lampin. imagine that.
it was such a journey having Afea. I agreed to have the Csec for friday (instead on the next friday) after -lantak la apa nak jadi jadi la - attitude and short discussion over the phone with Dear Hubs on Thurs' nite. Lebih kurang pukul 10 malam, when the nurse came for my routine bp check up - i said bawak keluar esok aje la. Tolong bagitau doktor. And at about 12 midnite, the nurse came back and confirmed my Csec at 8.00am the next day. Telefon laki bagi tau, and time subuh dah prep prep nak prepare masuk OR. Dear Hubs came at about 730 i was already dressed for OR. pukul 8.00 masuk OR, belum sempat laki mak nak masuk pegang tangan ke apa yang patut, Afea dah keluar. Itupun he got in afea was halfway out of the body and sebab nurse dah sibuk jerit jerit tanya bapak dia mana ni. Boleh tak pak ngko ingat beranak Csec lama macam beranak biasa. aiyahhhhh pengsan la ini macam!
So anyway..i was done with. Bapaknya ikut afea macam semut ikut semua. takut tersalah anak - dia ni memang ada penyakit takut orang tersalah tagging anak dia - dari zaman alesha lagi after the baby was born mesti dia ikut bontot nurse and dah siap bersih baby n tagging baru datang jenguk aku balik. Siap ngeri ngeri lagi tengok nurse tu handle anak kecik dia roughly.
Afea was in incubation for about 1 week. Time tu la i had to journey to/fro hospital to bf her. alhamdullilah she was fully bf for 6 months. lepas tu macam nak meroyan trying to get her to be on full bf. I have to say your resolution / determination have to be really really strong..
Time Azhad, we shared the bond for 1 years and 8 months. itu pun sebab i was in extreme pain sebab dia dah teething.
Time Afea ni, rasa cam tak cukup kakitangan nak fully bf. mana nak siap kerja, mana nak check homework, mana nak ngajar si azhad..so for my peace of mind, i had decided to just campurkan her susu. So when she was about 8 months i had to raise the white flag and just surrendered.
She was still on mom's milk. At nite or during weekend. Dear Hubs said lets give it until shes a year old to start thinking of weaning her off. Mak is in desperate need to do her body yang dah pakai size 16 ni yea.
Until laters...will write more - hopefully.
Anyhows..her name is Afea Razan. A simple befitting name of her then condition. Afea maksudnya sihat wal'afiat kot. Hahahha she was so small we were scared of losing her. I was such in low spirit when she was in incubation for a week. Senang cerita - saya takut anak saya mati. It was such a bad bad depressing feeling. takut anak kena pijak la..takut ada penyakit la..takut retarded la..fuhh macam macam ok. She was only as long as my elbow and was so small her eyes were bulging out. When i hold her in my arm, i just have her on 1 hand and people often mistaken i was carrying a bunch of kain lampin. imagine that.
it was such a journey having Afea. I agreed to have the Csec for friday (instead on the next friday) after -lantak la apa nak jadi jadi la - attitude and short discussion over the phone with Dear Hubs on Thurs' nite. Lebih kurang pukul 10 malam, when the nurse came for my routine bp check up - i said bawak keluar esok aje la. Tolong bagitau doktor. And at about 12 midnite, the nurse came back and confirmed my Csec at 8.00am the next day. Telefon laki bagi tau, and time subuh dah prep prep nak prepare masuk OR. Dear Hubs came at about 730 i was already dressed for OR. pukul 8.00 masuk OR, belum sempat laki mak nak masuk pegang tangan ke apa yang patut, Afea dah keluar. Itupun he got in afea was halfway out of the body and sebab nurse dah sibuk jerit jerit tanya bapak dia mana ni. Boleh tak pak ngko ingat beranak Csec lama macam beranak biasa. aiyahhhhh pengsan la ini macam!
Afea was in incubation for about 1 week. Time tu la i had to journey to/fro hospital to bf her. alhamdullilah she was fully bf for 6 months. lepas tu macam nak meroyan trying to get her to be on full bf. I have to say your resolution / determination have to be really really strong..
Time Azhad, we shared the bond for 1 years and 8 months. itu pun sebab i was in extreme pain sebab dia dah teething.
Time Afea ni, rasa cam tak cukup kakitangan nak fully bf. mana nak siap kerja, mana nak check homework, mana nak ngajar si azhad..so for my peace of mind, i had decided to just campurkan her susu. So when she was about 8 months i had to raise the white flag and just surrendered.
She was still on mom's milk. At nite or during weekend. Dear Hubs said lets give it until shes a year old to start thinking of weaning her off. Mak is in desperate need to do her body yang dah pakai size 16 ni yea.
Until laters...will write more - hopefully.
Lets try it again!!
Im trying to get my groove back...lets do it androidly - ada ka such word. In ameeting now. Will write more later..ttta
Friday, August 12, 2011
34th week and maybe not counting
am writing this post on the bed at the hospital.
been in and out from ward since i was at week 32 due to hypertension. 1st day puasa dah kena admit sebab bp rocketing high - 160 over 90++ rasanya. macam serah diri bulat-bulat je. dengan tak bawak baju etc, datang for the monthly checkup - ended 4 hari warded. sampai hari yg ke 11 ni, still tak puasa, sebab kena sumbat ubat. mampos la aku nak ganti puasa.
On the 4th August, doctor bagi balik with a week mc and a letter confirming that i may not be able to come in for work until delivery. Kisahnya aku dah kena preeclampsia. Shit - i have a name for the damn high bp now!! rasa kalau high bp tu, alaaa lepak la, ko stress bp naik kan, ini dah jadik penyakit la plak. Pastu dah ada uric acid ke apa ntah dalam urine. part ni aku tak tau sangat. belum sempat google.
Dapat la 'cuti' seminggu mengangkang kat rumah. merasa la jadik mem besar. tapi penat jugak la. bulan puasa la kan. mata ni asyik memberat je makan ubat, tapi kena la bawak bawak bangun sahut bagi bapaknya makan, bangunkan anak anak sekolah. itu pun memanjang terlajak je anak aku sebab maknya pakat tido lepas masak sahur.
So hari ni, check up lagi. rasa cam mentally dah ok dah. sekali ambik ko, protein in urine dah 4+. aku pun tak tahu la apa kah maknanya. harus kejab lagi aku google. elok-elok boleh kuar lepak kat rumah sambil tunggu beranak, hambik ko, masuk balik ward. adeiii sengal aku dibuatnya.
to make it worst, masa memula tu kenkonon by week 36 nak bawak kuar baby, sekali dah macam ni, doktor sound, tak boleh tunggu, harus kuarnya like the latest on monday. aku dok pikir nak buat bila. monday ke esok je. sama je gamaknya. aku tunggu sampai monday pun, bukan nya ada big difference pun kan. hehhe bil hospital ada la differentnya. rabak dah laki aku. dah la hari tu admit 4 hari dah rm1000++. ni lagi 4hari ntah brp pulak, belum lagi charges beranak - yg confirm confirm c-sec. belum lagi charges baby. hahahhahaha tak pe la ke kekanda, ambik ko merasa anak last ni menanggung.
oh yes, this maybe our last one. tak tercapai la cita-cita aku nak anak 5.doktor rekomen untuk ikat sebab likelihood the same illness serang time pregnancy is really high. aku pun rasa at the age of penghujung 33 ni, nak beranak apa lagi. so if confirm c-sec, aku ikat aje la.
harus takde gambar apa-apa. niat hati nak cam whore ngan pressie baru, tapi dah kata warded mengejut, kamera pun ntah mana aku letak aku tak hingat. ni pump pun belum basuh, baju baby pun aku bajet dobi aje la ni. semua dah tak sempat. sib baik ada kenkawan. jamu n bengkung pun kenkawan yg belikan. aku main maybank2u je duit kat korang.
tak tau nak story apa lagi. aku harap aku branak esok. dapat slot time. memula doktor nak kasi baranak senin. aku paksa paksa hari jumaat esok gak. dapat jumaat, laki aku la kero -terkesima rasa tak ready. suh aku tukar senin. aku dah tukar senin, siap kena sound ngan nurse dah - jangan tukar tukar, sekali malam tadi pukul 10 baru dia datang visit aku dia kata ok la pulak hari jumaat. hish, tebal dah muka aku nak mintak sembelih esok. nampak naa banyak songeh.
hari ni agaknya hari bangla/pakistan sedunia beranak kot. dah 3 orang beranak kat ward recovery ni semua orang ni. pastu jerit terlolong lak tu. aku rasa cam nak lempang sorang-sorang. tau la sakit, tapi jangan la sampai sebatu jauh menjerit. langsung naik darah aku dengar dia menjerit.
ok ok. better stop now. kang tak cukup naik lagi darah aku. nurse ni pun asyik usha aku suh tido. tak sedar aku dah naik majal ni asyik tido je. haram betul.
harap dapat beranak esok la. tak larat dah dok dalam ward. cau cin cau...
been in and out from ward since i was at week 32 due to hypertension. 1st day puasa dah kena admit sebab bp rocketing high - 160 over 90++ rasanya. macam serah diri bulat-bulat je. dengan tak bawak baju etc, datang for the monthly checkup - ended 4 hari warded. sampai hari yg ke 11 ni, still tak puasa, sebab kena sumbat ubat. mampos la aku nak ganti puasa.
On the 4th August, doctor bagi balik with a week mc and a letter confirming that i may not be able to come in for work until delivery. Kisahnya aku dah kena preeclampsia. Shit - i have a name for the damn high bp now!! rasa kalau high bp tu, alaaa lepak la, ko stress bp naik kan, ini dah jadik penyakit la plak. Pastu dah ada uric acid ke apa ntah dalam urine. part ni aku tak tau sangat. belum sempat google.
Dapat la 'cuti' seminggu mengangkang kat rumah. merasa la jadik mem besar. tapi penat jugak la. bulan puasa la kan. mata ni asyik memberat je makan ubat, tapi kena la bawak bawak bangun sahut bagi bapaknya makan, bangunkan anak anak sekolah. itu pun memanjang terlajak je anak aku sebab maknya pakat tido lepas masak sahur.
So hari ni, check up lagi. rasa cam mentally dah ok dah. sekali ambik ko, protein in urine dah 4+. aku pun tak tahu la apa kah maknanya. harus kejab lagi aku google. elok-elok boleh kuar lepak kat rumah sambil tunggu beranak, hambik ko, masuk balik ward. adeiii sengal aku dibuatnya.
to make it worst, masa memula tu kenkonon by week 36 nak bawak kuar baby, sekali dah macam ni, doktor sound, tak boleh tunggu, harus kuarnya like the latest on monday. aku dok pikir nak buat bila. monday ke esok je. sama je gamaknya. aku tunggu sampai monday pun, bukan nya ada big difference pun kan. hehhe bil hospital ada la differentnya. rabak dah laki aku. dah la hari tu admit 4 hari dah rm1000++. ni lagi 4hari ntah brp pulak, belum lagi charges beranak - yg confirm confirm c-sec. belum lagi charges baby. hahahhahaha tak pe la ke kekanda, ambik ko merasa anak last ni menanggung.
oh yes, this maybe our last one. tak tercapai la cita-cita aku nak anak 5.doktor rekomen untuk ikat sebab likelihood the same illness serang time pregnancy is really high. aku pun rasa at the age of penghujung 33 ni, nak beranak apa lagi. so if confirm c-sec, aku ikat aje la.
harus takde gambar apa-apa. niat hati nak cam whore ngan pressie baru, tapi dah kata warded mengejut, kamera pun ntah mana aku letak aku tak hingat. ni pump pun belum basuh, baju baby pun aku bajet dobi aje la ni. semua dah tak sempat. sib baik ada kenkawan. jamu n bengkung pun kenkawan yg belikan. aku main maybank2u je duit kat korang.
tak tau nak story apa lagi. aku harap aku branak esok. dapat slot time. memula doktor nak kasi baranak senin. aku paksa paksa hari jumaat esok gak. dapat jumaat, laki aku la kero -terkesima rasa tak ready. suh aku tukar senin. aku dah tukar senin, siap kena sound ngan nurse dah - jangan tukar tukar, sekali malam tadi pukul 10 baru dia datang visit aku dia kata ok la pulak hari jumaat. hish, tebal dah muka aku nak mintak sembelih esok. nampak naa banyak songeh.
hari ni agaknya hari bangla/pakistan sedunia beranak kot. dah 3 orang beranak kat ward recovery ni semua orang ni. pastu jerit terlolong lak tu. aku rasa cam nak lempang sorang-sorang. tau la sakit, tapi jangan la sampai sebatu jauh menjerit. langsung naik darah aku dengar dia menjerit.
ok ok. better stop now. kang tak cukup naik lagi darah aku. nurse ni pun asyik usha aku suh tido. tak sedar aku dah naik majal ni asyik tido je. haram betul.
harap dapat beranak esok la. tak larat dah dok dalam ward. cau cin cau...
Saturday, July 30, 2011
early pressie
Aku ni memang jenis meminta minta. I feel that thats my right. Nak beli, belikan, taknak beli, aku beli sendiri. Boleh?
So come birthday aku yg ke 30an ni...eceeewaaahhh...aku nak camera. I want a small simple camera. Ada la camera cabuk family punya tu, tapi balik balik aku on semua pic kerja laki aku je. potong stim betul.
So memandangkan besday aku nanti time time nak branak..and silap haribulan, kena induce, harus la aku mintak sekarang kang.
so 25 july haritu, alang-alang dah mc, laki aku tarik pi low yat. tak tau la mahal ke idak, aku apa benda lebih rm200 aku rasa mahal dah.ada camera rega rm50 mau aku beli kalau pun gedabak boleh buat kojol baling anjing.
untuk paknya, terima kasih wokey. ni ambik pic yg ditangkap dari kamera hadiah u bagi ni..
So come birthday aku yg ke 30an ni...eceeewaaahhh...aku nak camera. I want a small simple camera. Ada la camera cabuk family punya tu, tapi balik balik aku on semua pic kerja laki aku je. potong stim betul.
So memandangkan besday aku nanti time time nak branak..and silap haribulan, kena induce, harus la aku mintak sekarang kang.
so 25 july haritu, alang-alang dah mc, laki aku tarik pi low yat. tak tau la mahal ke idak, aku apa benda lebih rm200 aku rasa mahal dah.ada camera rega rm50 mau aku beli kalau pun gedabak boleh buat kojol baling anjing.
untuk paknya, terima kasih wokey. ni ambik pic yg ditangkap dari kamera hadiah u bagi ni..
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
of a short vacay and circumcision..Yes you read it right!
We went to PD last week. A short 2d1n stay at residence desa lagoon. Sangat la best nye since the place was like a small island just for us. Practically not a single soul around - ok thats pushing it too far..ada la 4 5 orang at the pool but we basically conquered the place.
Kids were playing at jacuzi pool sampai main tabur tabur bunga cas mandi bunga. Dont know where they get the idea. The hubbies cas budak kecik main water gun lawan with the kids at the shallow end of the pool - mak jadik dugong sebab too heavy to move. well..not dugong exactly, lebih kepada whale yang mati terdampar di tepi pantai. Yup..that would be a more correct description.
Went there at about 11.30 after breakfast and Alesha's Parent-Teacher Day. Shes done superbly good. Semua ok except 1 -2 math questions and some of confusion about kata nama khas.
Arrived at about 1. check in lepak lepak mandi pool. No picture taken. tak kuasa nak membawa kamera n the toys. yg sememangnya wajib 1 bakul besar whenever g beach. Very very nice weather and sea condition. Anak-anak yg takut ombak sampai boleh berani lepak skali ngan mak/pak yg bergumbira berborak tgk laut. Air cetek time tu la katakan.
Sampai rumah Ahad at about malam tu. Dengan alesha kena cirit birit sikit salah makan apa ntah.
the next day i was on MC. bebudak tu pun gerak-gerak suh pi sekolah cam batu masing-masing. Langsung la ponteng sekolah 1 hari.
Petangnya lepak lepak kat rumah i switched on Burlesque. You know the story la - girls in slinky kinky clothing dancing here and there. Alesha and azhad tengok siap seronok pay full concentration tuh. Alesha i know la...shes into anything make up dancing and pretty dresses. SO i know she likes watching such movie.
Yang cerita nya ni..si azhad tetiba tengah syok syok tengok the pretty girls grinding and doing all sorts of pole dancing things, cakap..
"mama..tengok kot** azhad ni ma.." sambil membawa keluar the family jewel..
aiyahhhhh..aku rasa cam nak pengsan melihat 'perkembangan'nya. bapak member dah tepuk dahi tengok perangai anak bujang yg tersengih sengih.
So..harus sunat nampak gayanya kan?
Kids were playing at jacuzi pool sampai main tabur tabur bunga cas mandi bunga. Dont know where they get the idea. The hubbies cas budak kecik main water gun lawan with the kids at the shallow end of the pool - mak jadik dugong sebab too heavy to move. well..not dugong exactly, lebih kepada whale yang mati terdampar di tepi pantai. Yup..that would be a more correct description.
Went there at about 11.30 after breakfast and Alesha's Parent-Teacher Day. Shes done superbly good. Semua ok except 1 -2 math questions and some of confusion about kata nama khas.
Arrived at about 1. check in lepak lepak mandi pool. No picture taken. tak kuasa nak membawa kamera n the toys. yg sememangnya wajib 1 bakul besar whenever g beach. Very very nice weather and sea condition. Anak-anak yg takut ombak sampai boleh berani lepak skali ngan mak/pak yg bergumbira berborak tgk laut. Air cetek time tu la katakan.
Sampai rumah Ahad at about malam tu. Dengan alesha kena cirit birit sikit salah makan apa ntah.
the next day i was on MC. bebudak tu pun gerak-gerak suh pi sekolah cam batu masing-masing. Langsung la ponteng sekolah 1 hari.
Petangnya lepak lepak kat rumah i switched on Burlesque. You know the story la - girls in slinky kinky clothing dancing here and there. Alesha and azhad tengok siap seronok pay full concentration tuh. Alesha i know la...shes into anything make up dancing and pretty dresses. SO i know she likes watching such movie.
Yang cerita nya ni..si azhad tetiba tengah syok syok tengok the pretty girls grinding and doing all sorts of pole dancing things, cakap..
"mama..tengok kot** azhad ni ma.." sambil membawa keluar the family jewel..
aiyahhhhh..aku rasa cam nak pengsan melihat 'perkembangan'nya. bapak member dah tepuk dahi tengok perangai anak bujang yg tersengih sengih.
So..harus sunat nampak gayanya kan?
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