My feeding story

This post serves to tell 2 stories.


One is of my breastfeeding story. Alhamdullillah, after 66 days of having lil one, i can still say that he is on mama's milk 100%. minus the air zam zam that we gave him once inawhile (or air lain - in case ada yg gatal tangan bagi behind my back) i have succeeded in delaying giving formula milk to him.


To those yg pro bf, read: delaying. Yes. I am not putting such high hope in my attempt to bf lil one. after all, i did failed (100% gagal hookay!!) in feeding Alesha.


So far, lil one is taking about 4 to 5x 4oz in a day. I think i have about 5 days stock in a fridge. With my not so frequent pumping session now, i am hopeful that i can make it to 6 month. Lets cross our fingers.


Now i am about to write something that will pisses everyone off. What breastfeeding is to me. I have to remind readers that this is my personal opinion and writing it on blog is a way of me reminding myself in years to come what is happening to me today. My writing has no bearing on your life and thus you should not feel obligated to comment about it also.


here we go. Breastfeeding to me is hell!!! Ya allah, tuhan aje yang tahu how stressful it was for the first 2 weeks. I was out of my mind and penah rasa cam nak hempas hempas je budak kecik tu ok!! Well..at one point i did use a bit of a force when lifting him up in the middle of the nite for feeding. Of which i am still regretting it!!!Dengan crack nipple dengan sakit pinggang and this insecurity of not providing enough...uwaaa bagai nak meroyan mak.


Lets not talk about vanity. My boops are sagging crazy. Yes they were big and perky 1 time and flat and sagging in no time! Most of the time pulak tu!! Eeeee..And to top it of, i think im losing my asset to dear hubby. Laki aku pun cam pandang tak de perasan ok!!


Not to blame him of course. I would lose interest too kalau benda tu 24-7 depan mata. Dah lah depan mata...siap dipergunakan sewenang-wenangnya oleh si kecik tu!! Adeiiiii....Memang la kalau aku tak kuatkan semangat, memang aku sumbat kan aje botol kat budak tu.


Dahlah tu..punya la susah nak tido, mandi, makan etc etc. Memang asyik mengempeng je sepanjang hari. back then, aku tak tau camna nak bf while laying down, so rasa cam nak patah pinggang duduk all nite menyusukan dia. The 1st day kat spital tu, he did not even let go for the entire nite. Bayangkan betapa sorenya aku..tambah mengantuk tambah sakit pinggang dan sebagai. I hated breastfeeding!!


Masuk 3rd week of pantang, i was getting the hang of it. Though still hating it coz i dont have time for myself. mandi pun ala ala bujang lapok la. And not to mention, i was all the time in my drawers. Tak sempat nak put on clothes pun. Eeee again..i hated breastfeeding.


Itu tak masuk lagi nak melayan kerenah Alesha. If i must say this, 1 thing that i hate most about breastfeeding is because you are incapable to do many other things with your loved ones. In my case, melayan alesha as usual. I think she sensed the lack of attention too but know that none of us can do much about it. I hated it the most sebab i was unable to care for her because of this cute bundle attached to my chest.



Masuk 4th week, selepas confident nak menyusu sambil baring and delighted melihat ada hasil selepas perahan, i think i was getting the hang of it. I am not saying its a joy yet (and still is) but it was bearable at that time. And i think Alesha is also getting the hang of being the older sister. Life was starting to get brighter now.


Now, i can say that breastfeeding is a hell experience for me, but as it gets better, i think it has in a way completes me as a mom. Kalau dulu cam rasa inadequate je sebab tak bf Alesha, but now i can say i am a woman who can give my baby food!! hehehe..boleh tak cakap gitu.


The other feeding story is my feeding story. Ya allah..laparnya aku all the time. roti 1 loaf tu tahan 2 hari je tau aku sorang makan. Cam raksasa dah aku rasa aku ni. Asyik lapar je.eeiii siap la aku ni...kalau tak betul mau naik 4x ganda ni!!Sekarang ni tahap kelaparan aku masih lagi cam monster gaban. Aku try gak la nak diet..tapi mana mau tahan seiii...

Itula citer feeding aku..Ni tgh stok makan float sambil minum air soya sambil makan choc rice..Uwaaaaaa

POST NI KHAS UNTUK CIK ZA KITA. CONGRATS..cant wait to hear your feeding story lak. And of course, i hope you can finally pakaikan that lil' dress you bought. hehehe

IM BACK

UWAAA...lama nya tak jumpa internet. Boleh meroyan rasanya tak dpt surf web-web yang aku slalu frequent.



hehehe guys..im back, but not for long. hari ni aku decide nak menjejakkan kaki ke opis. Nak refresh memory aku mana aku letak pen, mana aku letak documents.



untuk korang yg post comments in my previous post..dah slamat dah den nih!!



Wokey..cerita yang ditunggu-tunggu. Although a bit basi, tapi aku cerita gak la..More for my sake rather than yours..sebab nya kita ni kan maha pelupa.



Just what i said in my previous post, we intended to get it over and done with on 071207. Tapi after much thoughts and selepas sort kan activities laki bini, we finally decided that wednesday 051207 would be the suitable date to go to the hospital.



So pagi tu, aku pun lenggang kangkung kemas-kemas barang pakai cantek cantek gi spital. Tapi pagi tu, hehehe kena la pekena breakfast yg gempak sikit kan...almaklumla..lepas tu kan nak kena pantang.



So there we went to pekena Nasi Lemak Tanglin and mee kicap kat sana. Aku belasah cukup cukup..rasa nak order bertalam talam. Tapi all the while masa tengah makan, perut asyik rasa memulas nak membuang. Potong steam betul..tak kena pulak aku nak belasah bila perut rasa tak sedap ni.



Appointment was set at 830am..tapi aku sampai spital dalam pukul 11.00am. Sampai-sampai straight kena dok atas wheelchair and ditolak ke labour room. Apparently thats the procedure kat spital tu. Rather than waiting in the normal ward, they wheeled you to the labour room, which looked very much like a single bed ward and there you wait for delivery.



Sebabkan si cenonet tu ada tailing around, and only spouse and mother can teman you there in the room, hubby letak barang and balik hantar cenonet to her nenek.



About 12 noon cam tu, nurse datang check. Aku ni dah tak sabar sabar nak meng-induce-kan diri aku. Siap tanya dr. nak datang what time nak bagi ubat, what kind of ubat dr. akan bagi etc etc etc.



But the nurse calmly cakap, kita check dulu kak..dalam hati aku..aik...tak baca rekod ke apa..aku ni datang nak induce. Bukan nya normal delivery sakit ke apa. But what the heck..there i go..kangkang la mak..



Jeng jeng jeng...this come as a suprise to even me..aku actually dah 3cm dilated. DUh! rupanya sakit perut memulas nak membuang tu minor contraction la..ceeee



So there goes my careful plan to induce the delivery. Nurse cakap we just wait and see la. Ceeehhhhh..Buang karan betul la. Kalau aku tau gitu, dah sakit maut baru aku datang spital..Takde la aku melepak boring kat spital sensorang. At this point, i called hubby and told him to finish whatever remaining jobs he had. Tak yah la datang spital pun sebab aku tak kan beranak any time soon.



At around 3 pm, aku dah mabuk boring dah ni. Puas la aku jenjalan siap dengar orang bilik sebelah beranak..siap nyibuk tengok nurse bersihkan baby tu..magazines kat waiting room tu jangan cakap la..dah naik hafal dah aku. Then only, dr. datang visit aku.



Cek la..mak pun kangkang la..Aisay..buang karan je aku jalan iya iya..still 3 cm. So doktor pun cakap...u gi naik atas la. Dok dalam ward. Alaaaaaa ni yg aku lemah ni.



So by 4 pm tu, aku pun di wheeled kan la ke normal ward. Lepak la kat sana borak borak yg member sebilik aku. tengah tengah borak aku dah rasa lain macam. Aiiyakk...sudah contraction la pulak. Masa tu aku dah rasa nyesal lak sebab pilih normal ward.



Bukan apa...aku cam dah tak terdaya nak mantain macho depan member se-ward. Memula tu eksyen, bukak tirai tu. Abis bila dah sakit lain macam, aku pelan pelan tutup cover tu. Kena la cover kan bila contraction tu datang..Takkan la aku menggelupur depan member tu.



Sambil tu aku jalan jalan jugak la..Lepak kat waiting room tu..semua orang tau bila aku contraction. takde la aku jerit jerit pun..cuma aku menggelupur je la grab kusi la..tekan kepala la..gitu gitu je la..



Sampai point aku rasa aku tak leh nak duduk and maintain dignity masa contraction tu, aku pun panggil nurse. Dah rasa lain macam dah ni.. Dia pun time la contraction about 5-6 min apart. By 6 pm, aku diwheeledkan balik to my labour room. vaginal check by the nurse, aku dah 5cm dilated.



Masa ni aku call laki aku cakap aku dah nak beranak kot. So dia boleh la datang spital. Tup tup dah pukul 7. Laki aku pun sampai..doktor pun sampai. Doktor cek lagi, and told me aku dah 8 cm. Aku masa ni dah hilang pertimbangan sikit la. rasa nak gigit kepala katil masa sakit tu pun ada jugak. Tapi maintain lagi la..paling paling pun aku grip tepi katil atau kusi yang aku duduk tu. Pendek kata, memang aku tak senang duduk la..kejab dok kat katil, kejab berdiri, kejab kat kusi..



Lepas azan maghrib (aku kan kat pusrawi-azan ada kat radio diaorang) team of doctor and nurses ambushed room aku. hehehe..takde la ambush..more like datang beramai ramai dan memeranjatkan aku yang tengah mengelupur tahan contraction. Rupanya doktor datang pecah air ketuban. Leeee...gini ke rasanya pecah ketuban. Basah kuyup aku dibuatnya..Kenapa masa alesha dulu tak messy cam ni? I wonder..



Anyhow..korang tau la what happened lepas pecah air ketuban. Mak datuk ya allah sakit nya..Again..kenapa masa alesha tak sakit cam ni? Aku pun tak tau. Memang masa tu aku vividly remember aku tak mo beranak lagi..aku tak mo normal delivery lagi..



Oohh..aku terlupa nak cakap..At about 5 -6 cm dilated, aku did ask the nurse for epi..tapi seperti zaman alesha..i was told it was too late for epi. Eiiiii...time tengah peak sakit tu, memang nyesal aku tak mintah epi. Nyesal nyesal nyesal!!!!



By 9 pm, there was sensation to push. Tapi very low la..But me being me..aku dah tak tahan sakit, aku push jugak. Doktor wasnt there yang ada hanya nurse..Memang puas la aku mintak vacuum la..potong la apa apa la to expedite kan beranak..Tak larat dah aku. rasa nak tercabut nyawa.



Last last nurse cakap ambik gas. Haaa..ini memang sesalan aku yang amat sangat. EEEeeeiiii gini rupanya ambik gas. Memang la ko macam leka je waktu contraction tu, tapi adeeeiii aku rasa aku macam mamat high. Sampaikan nurse suruh aku angkat kaki pun aku tak larat. All i could mustered was this groaning cum moaning answer yang sebenarnya bermaksud.."saya tak larat la kak.."



I heard story about gas ni, tapi tak sangka the effect was such, sampai i lost control of my bodily function. Sampai tahap nak push pun, i couldnt even master the energy to push. Nak cakap pun dok slur slur . Eiiii kalau aku mati la time tu, memang mati anjing je la..



Dek kerana 'kemalasan' aku tu..nurse ordered hubby to stop supplying the gas. Lupa lak aku..this delivery, laki aku tu official gas mask holder. Hahhaha...i only have to moan slightly..and the gas mask will be automatically placed on my face. Bagus tak laki aku. Memang active betul dia this time.



By 945 pm, the effect of the gas was finally wearing off me. The doctor was there and my feets were both up in the air. This was when i felt a sensation between my legs.. not a really good sensation i must tell ya. More like warm tearing feelings.



But aku ni yang hilang pertimbangan and acting like a first time mother (duh! kenapa aku boleh jadik gitu eh???) boleh tak- tak tau that its my baby coming out..Cam tu ye rasanya..Its good and not so good feeling..Boleh tak describe gitu??



Between crazy pushing and rambling mad for vacuum delivery..i had somehow manage to push the baby out. But like the rest of women of the world said, nothing beats the feeling of baby on your tummy.



And this time, the doctor did put the baby - blood, umbilical cord and all on my tummy and i did hang on to his arm when doctor was cutting his umbilical cord. What an amazing feeling eh?



I remembered doctor was asking me..you ingat tak i cakap u dapat baby apa masa check up..and i answered slurringly of course..lelaki..and yes..it is a boy!! masa tu aku mamai mamai mintak balik glasses aku.. sebab nak tengok baby.



Aku memang tekad delivery kali ni aku nak pakai spek mata aku. sebabnya masa alesha tu, everything went so fast dan aku sangatla rabun tak nampak apa sebab bukak spek. So kali ni..hell no im not taking my glasses of. Sometime during aku majal gas tu, nurse suh aku bukak spek so help me pushing - jgnla tanya aku camna it helps..aku pun tak tau logiknya. Tapi hubby did take my spec off and minah mamai ni tak de kederat la nak say no.

So at 945pm..beranak lah aku. By 1030pm, i have succesfully breastfed lil one.

Gitu la kisah beranak aku. Nothing exciting but pain pain and more pain. Itu aje dah cukup untuk jadik contraceptive aku for the time being. Hehehe

note: this entry was written on 31 Jan 2008

ALIVE & KICKING

I am still alive and kicking..ehh salah salah I am still big and in pain!!

hahahha...well i know you guys havent been seeing me around as much as u used to. Not by choice absolutely. La ni dah pindah office baru. I have yet to reinstall my YM and of course, bila nak dekat dekat meletup ni, it seems kerja macam bertimbun-timbun lak yang datang.

I have roughly discussed THE DATE. Its gonna be on the 7th December 2007. Ambil berkat hari Jumaat and taking other contibuting factors also (read: Kenduri adik ipar on 8 Dec 2007). Tapi deep down la kan, if you ask me, rasanya cam nak branak cepat aje. Dah tak larat dah mak ni oiiii....

But then again, I am still crossing my fingers of normal kuar tanda delivery. So hari hari wishful thinking masa pi kencing...Hoping for some sign. Tahap kemaruk nak beranak dah aku ni..

So to you guys out there..will keep u updated. Kalau sempat dan ada masa, i'll write more. Kalau idak, tunggu la update lepas meletup wokey..

Deyyy!! Padayappa!!!

Korang suka tengok tamil movies tak? Im talking about tamil movies with significantly fairer hero and heroin (where the rest of the cast were ehem very 'tan') and the background setting is of paddy field and cows where you can visibly see cow manures (and sometimes the casts are actually dancing on ground filled with them) NOT hindustani movies ok!!



Well..i must confess..I am an addict to Tamil Movies. Know some of them and even have a list of my fav actors/actresses. Some i know by name, and some i just know by face. Surya is good actor, Ajith too and who could denied Sivaji's greatness? Those who did now know who Sivaji is..its Rajnikanth la...also my favorite Mr. Padayappa. Watched that movie like 100 times and still fascinated with how he flipped his selempang over his shoulder.



You know la deepavali kan. Surely our one and only paid tv station tu airkan lotsa movies. So..last sunday, when hubby was not home, alesha was sleeping, i got to spend time in front of tv. Naik majal kepala aku dengar tamil dialogues dari pukul 12 sampai pukul 7 ptg.



Tapi aku sampai ke hari ni, sangatla kagum dengan jalan cerita kisah-kisah tamil movies ni. The movie i watched at 12 tu, basically pasal how this hero went against the system and bunuh semua gomen officer yg makan rasuah etc etc. Despite the cliche hero tu tak cedera sikit pun lepas lawan dekat 20 orang yang senjata parang (dia bare hand aje wokeh!!) yang meng impress kan aku ialah the fact that love story citer tu ada la dekat in total 15 min. je. Hebatkan? citer drama melayu kita pun tak gitu.

The point is, aku nak cakap tak kira betapa clichenye separuh citer tu, but if you do it right, tanpa elemen cinta pun, u can attract people to watch.

N.B: post ni aku korek dari draf lelama. Was written long time ago some time during deepavali.

at 36 weeks

At 36 weeks i was bombed with another distrubed news yesterday.

During Alesha's time, sometimes during the same week, doctor informed me of my increasing blood pressure. Despite the medication, the pressure refused to go down, which resulted in the induction of Alesha's delivery 8 days before her due date.

La ni pulak..aku suspected kencing manis!!!! Adeyyyy...haprak betul aku ni. The news was so alarming because aku sememangnya tak suspek betul nak kena kencing manis. Thanks to ciklovebaby atas teh pegaganye yang aku minum hari hari, aku tak de la pulak kena high bp. tapi kena penyakit lain pulak. Cit! I blame it all on raya!!!!

Yang lagi menyakitkan hati kencing manis aku ni bukannya confirmed. Camna ya...ada satu medical jargon yg Doktor tu cakap...'altered diebetic?' 'tampered diabetic?' Aku pun tak ingat la yang mana satu. Tapi dari pemahaman aku, aku ni bukannya diebetic bebetul sampai kena inject insulin and such, tapi at borderline yang mana kalau aku salah makan (or in order word - terlebih makan la), level sugar akan naik hence aku n baby akan dapat symptoms kencing manis.

Apa symptoms kencing manis? Doktor tu cakap, one thing is a bigger baby. FYI, lil seed dah 2.7kgs. Mak datuk!! Patut la perut aku bagai nak meletup rasanya. Alesha dulu was only 2.67kgs when delivered. I have a month to go and he is already 2.7kgs!!! Well..for those who have delivered 3.0++ kgs babies may say its small matter. Tapi aku dah merasa azab nak mengeluarkan 2.67kgs hookay!!! Mak siap kena vacuum lagi! Tak sanggup rasanya nak memikirkan mengeluarkan more than 3.0++ kgs.

A bigger baby is really not a thing to loose sleep. But a more disturb news is diebetic can lead to sudden death of the baby during pregnancy. Haa...part ni la yang aku kena ceramah ngan laki aku bagai nak rak atas habit-habit aku yang suka makan kuih raya and minum air gas tu. Adeeiii...Nak buat camna? Boleh tak kata mengidam tapi sebenarnya anak tekak yang teringin?

The doktor was telling me that there is no way i could wait beyond my due date. Terlupa pulak aku tanya implication if i were to wait until normal delivery. Nevermind, my next appointment is on the 20th, i'll ask the Doktor then.

Another problem is - katalah implicationnye so graves that theres no way i could wait up for normal delivery, then there is an issue of the suitable date.

Hubby's bro is getting married on the 8th of December, which coincidently also my due date. Seminggu sebelum tu sah sah la dear hubby sibuk jadik runner. After he is the only sibling yang kerja sendiri with flexible working hour kan. Aku memang dah agak-agak dia akan jadik coolie la kenduri tu. Takpe la kan, adik dia jugak.

The point is, memang jangan harapla dia dapat nak memberi TLC pada aku ni kan. Tapi as a wife, time ni la lebih dari wajar he should be by my side!! After all, takkan la time production je dia nak share skali, time seksa nak kuar output tu aku kena sengsara sensorong kan?? Tak aci la namanya!!

Hubby aku boleh aje dumpkan aku umah MIL. After all, masa alesha pun aku memang pantang kat sana. Tapi aku tak rasa comfortable pulak nak dok umah MIL waktu aku sibuk siap siap nak kenduri. Itu tak masuk lagi nak layan perangai alesha yang memang naik lemak kalau cousin dia ramai-ramai. Kang silap haribulan, aku pulak yang bentan sebab menjerit kuat sangat.

Nak post aku umah parent aku pulak, on 10th December, my adik will undergo major heart operation to alternate his valve with artificial one. So theres no way i could burden them with the worries of taking care of me. Biarla diaorang tenang-tenang fikiran nak prep mentally for the surgery.

Hence my dilema. Last evening, borak ala kadar ngan hubby, we decided to wait until the very last day. Lepas kenduri (ni case kalau aku tak beranak lagi la) dalam petang cam tu, we will shoot to Pusrawi for the induction. But of course, i have to get clearance from the Doktor la untuk do that.

So, next course of action, wait up for 20th appointment - ask doktor - then fix date - Tapi all in all doakanlah aku turun tanda sebelum 8 December 2007. If this happen, all plans down the drain.

p/s: Tak sanggup lagi nak induce. Epidural..epidural.. im seriously thinking about you.

Harga Kasih Sayang

Pagi ni macam dah jadik morning ritual, aku singgah pada blog-blog yg aku selalu frequent. Memula blog redribbon, belajar menginsafi diri dengan kisah2 HIV, pastu gi blog lovebaby baca dia mengomel and off topic sambil aku senyum simpul, pastu lak click blog anamiraa- dari senyum simpul aku senyum lebar - haa eksyen lagi pandai buat kueh, kan dah gemuk, dari situ, aku click blog idham - a clear blue sky.. dan senyuman aku jadik mati tiba-tiba.

Aku tak penah kenal Mr & Mrs D. Aku tau kewujudan diaorang pun dari blog Idham - yang memang tak kenal aku pun! Aku tak penah tinggal komen let alone nak call/ym etc etc untuk introduce diri aku ataupun join program-program yang diaorang anjurkan.

Tapi kadang-kadang bila lewat malam, aku terfikirkan kehidupan orang-orang yang aku tak kenal dan tidak pernah mengenali diri aku ni. Kadang-kadang aku rasa diri aku ni kecik sangat dibandingkan dengan diorang ni. Kadang-kadang aku rasa diri aku ni beruntung sangat sebab Allah dah beri apa yang aku ada sekarang dan aku tak cukup bersyukur ke atas segalanya.

Aku dah follow kisah Mr & Mrs D sejak sebulan lepas. Aku rasa diaorang loving couple malah lebih loving dari aku n dear hubby. Mungkin keadaan mereka membuatkan timbul kesedaran untuk lebih menghargai pasangan masing-masing. Lebih-lebih lagi bila kita tahu yang time is not on our side.

Bila Mrs. D decided to show their family pictures, hati aku sayu mengenangkan kehidupan diaorang. Wajah-wajah riang Mr & Mrs D suami isteri penuh kasih sayang, saling tak tumpah macam senyuman aku n dear hubby dalam gambar-gambar kami. In split second, they could have easily been us.

Bila ada masa, aku baca balik post Mrs. D yang mula-mula. Dari start Mr. D tak de penyakit, sampailah ke post terakhir Mrs. D semalam tentang sambutan hari jadi suaminya.

Betapa kecil aku rasa diri aku ni kerana aku pernah meminta-minta dear hubby belikan itu ini. Hakikatnya aku tau dear hubby kadang-kadang tak mampu, dan permintaan aku tu hanyalah gurauan. Tapi deep down, aku berharap yang dear hubby akan mampu satu hari nanti dan actually hadiahkan apa yang pernah aku minta.

Lain sungguh dengan Mrs. D yang hanya mahukan 'more of you each day' dari Mr. D. Dan apparently hanya Allah yang tahu apa baik untuk umatnya. Pagi tadi, dari blog Idham, aku dapat tahu Mr. D sudah kembali ke rahmatullah - Al fatihah.

Aku tahu betapa sukarnya bagi keluarga Mr & Mrs D (Mrs. D especially) untuk menerima hakikat itu walaupun mereka sangka they are spiritualy prepared for the hit. Tak kira berapa lama tempoh yang diberikan oleh Doktor atau berapa kita tekun kita berdoa untuk diberi kekuatan dariNya. Aku tahu perasaan menerima berita kematian dan menyangkakan diri telah cukup bersedia untuk sebarang kemungkinan.

Hakikatnya, hanya masa yang akan menyembuhkan luka dan kekecewaan di hati. Dan perasaan rindu yang akan mendatang nanti, tidak akan pernah kurang dan one day, kita akan lena berendam air mata kerana perasaan rindu yang teramat sayang pada orang tersayang yang telah pergi. Kalau kita bernasib baik, mereka akan hadir dalam mimpi dan mengubat sekelumit kerinduan kita. Hanya doa dan harapan agar satu hari nanti, kita akan dipertemukan semula di ambang syurga jika diperkenanNya.

Aku tak tahu samada Mrs. D akan menyambung blognya dan memberikan update terkini keadaan keluarga selepas hari ni. Kalau aku berada dalam tempat Mrs. D, aku rasa aku tak mampu untuk membaca semula apa yang pernah aku tulis tentang hati dan perasaan aku waktu Mr. D masih ada.

Apa pun, aku berharap Mr. D sempat bertemu keluarganya seperti yang diceritakan oleh Mrs. D. Aku berharap Mr. D pergi dengan tenang dan dalam dakapan keluarganya. Aku harap Mrs. D terus tabah dan terus tenang sepertimana dia telah tabah dan tenang menjaga Mr. D sepanjang masa.

Post kali ini dedicated khas untuk Mrs. D - wanita tabah yang tidak pernah tahu betapa kagumnya aku pada dia. Hanya Allah yang tahu pengorbanan Mrs. D dan memberi balasan syurga yang sewajarnya.

Aku doakan arwah Mr. D ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang soleh. Aku doakan agar kedua-dua Mr. D dan Mrs. D dipertemukan dan dijodohkan semula di kehidupan selepas ini.

- Amin -

MY RAYA STORY & ETC

SELAMAT HARI RAYA KORANG...
semoga bergembira di hari raya!!

yeah yeah yeah..i know the well wishes came too late. But what the heck, raya kan sebulan. Plus i was swamped with works few days before raya tu, tak sempat la esey nak memblog.

(p/s : pic raya ngan pak & step mom aku - baru teringat pic family sendiri tak sempat nak snap)

I have visited few blogs today. and of course, semua kisah raya and pictures raya la kan. But can i NOT talk about raya but something else today? Of course la cannot kan.. So here goes my raya story and carca marba story all in one.

This year raya was an exceptionally tiring experience. First the house cleaning. This was not the 1st raya we had at our own house. But the 1st RAYA si cenonet tu ada kaki and dah berakal. Last year, she wasnt even 1 yo and was down with fever. So melepek la the entire day and the ever the clever moi had devised a plan dengan membagi ubat demam to her that very early raya morning. So last raya we were saved with raya prep hassle with her being sick. Hantu jahanam punya mak! buleh tak seronok anak sakit waktu raya!!

BUT THIS RAYA..after series of demam etc etc in September (read my previous blog- dont know la how to link) She was super healthy and very demanding. Demanding read: mainan kena ada depan mata tak leh kemas..sticker favourite kena stick kat tv..tak leh cabut..

We planned to get helper to come and clean the house. Tapi cam nak berjimat sket kan, so hubby telah mengoffer kan dirinya untuk mengemas. (read previous blog > laki aku ni kan Mat Pengemas rumah). I truly honestly believe he is capable of doing all the kemas mengemas. Tapi cam kesian lak kat dia kan coz he had to do all the things by himself. Moi awal awal dah exclusion clause saya tak larattttt...

So that friday a day before raya, he was off membasuh tingkap, fans, dapur etc etc. Pagi pagi lagi lepas sahur, apparently he had hiden all cenonet's toys and books. Aku sah sah la tak sedar sebab lepas makan straight tido..hahaha..benda ni kena buat waktu si kecik tu takde, kalau tak, nanti dia memekak aje tak bagi kitaorang kemas barang dia.

So..1 task down tapi cenonet dah cam selenge sebab takde toys nak main. So the entire day tu, asyik acting up while hubby sibuk mengemas rumah and aku yg tak larat nak buat semua benda ni.. sampaikan kena lepuk cubit siap dengan aku. kejam kejam.

The finale of the day was, when dear hubby was mopping the floor, cenonet was so eager to save her mickey mouse, she fell flat face on the floor (she was ordered to seat on the sofa) and pecah both her upper and lower lips. Nasib baik tak pecah gigi you!!

By the time hubby finished polishing the house, it was already 6.45 p.m. Rushed to my inlaw for iftar (hehehe inlaw tinggal 5 minutes away je) and then rushed to my Ayah's house to spend a nite there.

Raya morning, luckily not much hassle. Cuma aku aje la sakit badan sebab spend the nite atas couch. Kat umah pak aku we slept in the living room. Dengan badan yang maha berat ni, jangan mimpi la i could get a decent sleep on the toto aje kan. Come to think about it..hell..i havent been getting a decent nite sleep since i turned 28 wks!!

Now..lets talk about raya. You guys know how big a family i married into. Hubby ada 12 siblings la!!! That alone was exclusive of the neighbouring aunties and their own families.

By 11.00 a.m. we were already at my inlaw's place - AGAIN. hahaha. Eh lupa lak nak mention, Aku n hubby orang KL daaa...My ayah is in keramat and my inlaw (as in pak cik mak cik nenek adik beradik etc) kat segambut. So you go figure la how i spend my traffic-jam-free raya.

To cut the long story short, raya ni aku rasa cam aku ni batu belah batu bertangkup. I will 'park' myself at one corner or sofa (since i could not possible sit on the floor at my current condition) and stay there until its time to go to another house. Makan minum akan diambilkan oleh ever the baik hati laki ku itu (please minus mukanye yg mencuka) or anak anak buah hubby yang sangat ramai itu. Isk isk isk..pathetic tahap gaban kan.

But what can i do?? This pregnancy is definitely killing me. I cannot walk because the pressure is too much on my pelvic and tummy. Its as if my tummy could drop down any second if i stand on my feet too long. lets not mentioned these very close to pain-sensation im feeling on my opening and more that braxton hicks (i know its braxton hicks but its so unbearable ok!!) that seems to 'attack' me 24-7. Sheesh..memang la haku tak larat.

Good thing is, im close to broke (monetary wise - though i dont know how THAT could be a good thing), so it means no shopping for babies stuff, and no walking for me...HUrray!! And on that note...i still have not bought any baju for lil' seed due to the uncertainty of one very important aspect - DUH!!! its gender!!! but no worries on that, hubby can always shop for rompers and jumpers when he (im still crossing my fingers) is out.

On another note (sadder this time) i lost a dear uncle on the 5th of Raya. The facts of his death is still a bit unclear. Whether its heart attack or his asthma. And the saddest thing was (or should i say good thing?) , we just visited him on 2nd day of Raya and he was looking dandy and happy. Hmm..dah namanya ajal maut di tangan tuhan. At least, the family gets to spend 1st Raya with him kan?

On a similar note, thanks to those yg comments on my previous posts. Thank you for the doa' and well wishes. Im trying my damn best when writing that post to sound jolly - but the fact is, i am just a human being and so as you guys. Be nice to your mom no matter how difficult they can be (dont we all know this!! and im referring to my Ayah when im saying this). Live without regrets!!

p/s : will try to post pictures later. Cam ngok je entry panjang2 takde pic