Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Burung apa tu mak?

Korang tengok tak iklan tu? Burung apa tu nak? Burung Murai...

Aku tak sempat nak lalui saat 'Burung Murai' ngan mak aku. She passed away at the age of 49 when i was just about 22 years old due to breast/lung cancer.

I dont want to tell sad story today. Raya is not the time for teary eyes. I want to recapture the good and happy memories i had with dear mak. Now a mother myself, i am creating my own 'memories' with dear cenonet. One day she will read this blog (hopefully) and if she does not, i can always read it myself and re-visited the memories.

The thing that i remember most about mak was she can really scream!! Hahaha!! Nag and nag and nag!! boy she could nag. When i was growing up, i could just turned deaf ears at her nagging. Now, that she is gone, not that im missing any of her nagging - moi only being frank - but i understand why she scream and nag.

As time goes by, when i matured into adulthood, we developed a closer bond. Mak was diagnosed cancer when i was 18. Sometime during the same year, i met dear hubby. The thing i remembered most was the day i came up to her. She was lying on her bed after series of chemo, looking weak and fragile but always a smile on her face.

I crept up at her and lied down beside her and said these exact words:

"Mak, an rasa an dah jatuh cinta la"

Hahahha..i cant really believe i said that. But i did and Mak was acting cool and asking me who the guy was. Its freaking thinking that Alesha may be saying the exact thing to me one day.

I dont know what Mak did after that. But knowing her, she would probably told Ayah. Mak never kept a secret from Ayah. When i first had my menses, Mak announced it over dinner infront of the family. Mind you, i am the only girl! To say i was embarrased of the fact - well not really.

I think we had been raised by Mak and Ayah to be very open about anything amongst us. I dont really have hugs and kisses relationship with my brothers, but we can talk and we can be frank about most of the things.

And also this thing about Mak's hair. You see, Mak was, well i cant say she was drop dead gorgeous, but she was very comely and pretty in her own way. When she was younger, she had long straight hair to her waist. It was a black and white photo she had with Ayah. So i dont really know whether her hair was shiny.

But Mak had the most beautiful complexion. She was so fair and hairless!! very unlike the hairy me! I remembered one time, i asked Mak why her hair was getting frizzy and starting to curl. She shrugged and said she wondered why herself.

I inherited Mak's straight hair. But now, I think my hair is looking more and more like Mak's fizzy hair now. Hmm...guess the fizzy hair genes only resurfaced
once i had baby..

There was also this time, after series of chemo - Mak had to undergone several session in 5 years time as the cancer kept recurring - I remembered going back home during weekend. Mak had this special lazy chair in front of tv where she will seat all day long.

So on that particular day, after being away on college for a week, i remembered stepping inside the house, and staring straight into Mak's balding hair. Botak licin you. She didnt even had eyebrows!!

Mak was smiling sheepishly and i remembered saying something like .."Ni sami buddha mana ni??!!" We ended up burst out laughing together.

Thats Mak how i remember her. Strong, cheerful, loud woman. The backbone of the family. The glue that stick us together.

Semoga roh arwah mak dicucuri rahmat.

p/s dah tak boleh nak menulis lagi..Aku dok tahan air mata je ni