of the 3rd One

Let me start with how this lil girl is doing... yes..the small miniature girl born on 12 August 2011 at 1.67kg is now a healthy almost 8kgs girl at 11 months old this coming 11 July. I have not written anything about her - the early months because of the worrying and the recent months - simply im too lazy to restart blogging.

But now looking back..and reading my previous post - i think i should re-blogged. its good for the soul. And mak punya urat urat yg dah banyak putus ni - so senang la nak ingat balik what i did when i did it.

Anyhows..her  name is Afea Razan. A simple befitting name of her then condition. Afea maksudnya sihat wal'afiat kot. Hahahha she was so small we were scared of losing her. I was such in low spirit when she was in incubation for a week. Senang cerita - saya takut anak saya mati. It was such a bad bad depressing feeling. takut anak kena pijak la..takut ada penyakit la..takut retarded la..fuhh macam macam ok. She was only as long as my elbow and was so small her eyes were bulging out. When i hold her in my arm, i just have her on 1 hand and people often mistaken i was carrying a bunch of kain lampin. imagine that.

it was such a journey having Afea. I agreed to have the Csec for friday (instead on the next friday) after -lantak la apa nak jadi jadi la - attitude and short discussion over the phone with Dear Hubs on Thurs' nite. Lebih kurang pukul 10 malam, when the nurse came for my routine bp check up - i said bawak keluar esok aje la. Tolong bagitau doktor. And at about 12 midnite, the nurse came back and confirmed my Csec at 8.00am the next day. Telefon laki bagi tau, and time subuh dah prep prep nak prepare masuk OR. Dear Hubs came at about 730 i was already dressed for OR. pukul 8.00 masuk OR, belum sempat laki mak nak masuk pegang tangan ke apa yang patut, Afea dah keluar. Itupun he got in afea was halfway out of the body and sebab nurse dah sibuk jerit jerit tanya bapak dia mana ni. Boleh tak pak ngko ingat beranak Csec lama macam beranak biasa. aiyahhhhh pengsan la ini macam!

So anyway..i was done with. Bapaknya ikut afea macam semut ikut semua. takut tersalah anak - dia ni memang ada penyakit takut orang tersalah tagging anak dia - dari zaman alesha lagi after the baby was born mesti dia ikut bontot nurse and dah siap bersih baby n tagging baru datang jenguk aku balik. Siap ngeri ngeri lagi tengok nurse tu handle anak kecik dia roughly.

Afea was in incubation for about 1 week. Time tu la i had to journey to/fro hospital to bf her. alhamdullilah she was fully bf for 6 months. lepas tu macam nak meroyan trying to get her to be on full bf. I have to say your resolution / determination have to be really really strong..

Time Azhad, we shared the bond for 1 years and 8 months. itu pun sebab i was in extreme pain sebab dia dah teething.

Time Afea ni, rasa cam tak cukup kakitangan nak fully bf. mana nak siap kerja, mana nak check homework, mana nak ngajar si azhad..so for my peace of mind, i had decided to just campurkan her susu. So when she was about 8 months i had to raise the white flag and just surrendered. 

She was still on mom's milk. At nite or during weekend. Dear Hubs said lets give it until shes a year old to start thinking of weaning her off. Mak is in desperate need to do her body yang dah pakai size 16 ni yea.

Until laters...will write more - hopefully.

34th week and maybe not counting

am writing this post on the bed at the hospital.

been in and out from ward since i was at week 32 due to hypertension. 1st day puasa dah kena admit sebab bp rocketing high - 160 over 90++ rasanya. macam serah diri bulat-bulat je. dengan tak bawak baju etc, datang for the monthly checkup - ended 4 hari warded. sampai hari yg ke 11 ni, still tak puasa, sebab kena sumbat ubat. mampos la aku nak ganti puasa.

On the 4th August, doctor bagi balik with a week mc and a letter confirming that i may not be able to come in for work until delivery. Kisahnya aku dah kena preeclampsia. Shit - i have a name for the damn high bp now!! rasa kalau high bp tu, alaaa lepak la, ko stress bp naik kan, ini dah jadik penyakit la plak. Pastu dah ada uric acid ke apa ntah dalam urine. part ni aku tak tau sangat. belum sempat google.

Dapat la 'cuti' seminggu mengangkang kat rumah. merasa la jadik mem besar. tapi penat jugak la. bulan puasa la kan. mata ni asyik memberat je makan ubat, tapi kena la bawak bawak bangun sahut bagi bapaknya makan, bangunkan anak anak sekolah. itu pun memanjang terlajak je anak aku sebab maknya pakat tido lepas masak sahur.

So hari ni, check up lagi. rasa cam mentally dah ok dah. sekali ambik ko, protein in urine dah 4+. aku pun tak tahu la apa kah maknanya. harus kejab lagi aku google. elok-elok boleh kuar lepak kat rumah sambil tunggu beranak, hambik ko, masuk balik ward. adeiii sengal aku dibuatnya.

to make it worst, masa memula tu kenkonon by week 36 nak bawak kuar baby, sekali dah macam ni, doktor sound, tak boleh tunggu, harus kuarnya like the latest on monday. aku dok pikir nak buat bila. monday ke esok je. sama je gamaknya. aku tunggu sampai monday pun, bukan nya ada big difference pun kan. hehhe bil hospital ada la differentnya. rabak dah laki aku. dah la hari tu admit 4 hari dah rm1000++. ni lagi 4hari ntah brp pulak, belum lagi charges beranak - yg confirm confirm c-sec. belum lagi charges baby. hahahhahaha tak pe la ke kekanda, ambik ko merasa anak last ni menanggung.

oh yes, this maybe our last one. tak tercapai la cita-cita aku nak anak 5.doktor rekomen untuk ikat sebab likelihood the same illness serang time pregnancy is really high. aku pun rasa at the age of penghujung 33 ni, nak beranak apa lagi. so if confirm c-sec, aku ikat aje la.

harus takde gambar apa-apa. niat hati nak cam whore ngan pressie baru, tapi dah kata warded mengejut, kamera pun ntah mana aku letak aku tak hingat. ni pump pun belum basuh, baju baby pun aku bajet dobi aje la ni. semua dah tak sempat. sib baik ada kenkawan. jamu n bengkung pun kenkawan yg belikan. aku main maybank2u je duit kat korang.

tak tau nak story apa lagi. aku harap aku branak esok. dapat slot time. memula doktor nak kasi baranak senin. aku paksa paksa hari jumaat esok gak. dapat jumaat, laki aku la kero -terkesima rasa tak ready. suh aku tukar senin. aku dah tukar senin, siap kena sound ngan nurse dah - jangan tukar tukar, sekali malam tadi pukul 10 baru dia datang visit aku dia kata ok la pulak hari jumaat. hish, tebal dah muka aku nak mintak sembelih esok. nampak naa banyak songeh.

hari ni agaknya hari bangla/pakistan sedunia beranak kot. dah 3 orang beranak kat ward recovery ni semua orang ni. pastu jerit terlolong lak tu. aku rasa cam nak lempang sorang-sorang. tau la sakit, tapi jangan la sampai sebatu jauh menjerit. langsung naik darah aku dengar dia menjerit.

ok ok. better stop now. kang tak cukup naik lagi darah aku. nurse ni pun asyik usha aku suh tido. tak sedar aku dah naik majal ni asyik tido je. haram betul.

harap dapat beranak esok la. tak larat dah dok dalam ward. cau cin cau...

of a short vacay and circumcision..Yes you read it right!

We went to PD last week. A short 2d1n stay at residence desa lagoon. Sangat la best nye since the place was like a small island just for us. Practically not a single soul around - ok thats pushing it too far..ada la 4 5 orang at the pool but we basically conquered the place.

Kids were playing at jacuzi pool sampai main tabur tabur bunga cas mandi bunga. Dont know where they get the idea. The hubbies cas budak kecik main water gun lawan with the kids at the shallow end of the pool - mak jadik dugong sebab too heavy to move. well..not dugong exactly, lebih kepada whale yang mati terdampar di tepi pantai. Yup..that would be a more correct description.

Went there at about 11.30 after breakfast and Alesha's Parent-Teacher Day. Shes done superbly good. Semua ok except 1 -2 math questions and some of confusion about kata nama khas.

Arrived at about 1. check in lepak lepak mandi pool. No picture taken. tak kuasa nak membawa kamera n the toys. yg sememangnya wajib 1 bakul besar whenever g beach. Very very nice weather and sea condition. Anak-anak yg takut ombak sampai boleh berani lepak skali ngan mak/pak yg bergumbira berborak tgk laut. Air cetek time tu la katakan.

Sampai rumah Ahad at about malam tu. Dengan alesha kena cirit birit sikit salah makan apa ntah.

the next day i was on MC. bebudak tu pun gerak-gerak suh pi sekolah cam batu masing-masing. Langsung la ponteng sekolah 1 hari.

Petangnya lepak lepak kat rumah i switched on Burlesque. You know the story la - girls in slinky kinky clothing dancing here and there. Alesha and azhad tengok siap seronok pay full concentration tuh. Alesha i know la...shes into anything make up dancing and pretty dresses. SO i know she likes watching such movie.

Yang cerita nya ni..si azhad tetiba tengah syok syok tengok the pretty girls grinding and doing all sorts of pole dancing things, cakap..

"mama..tengok kot** azhad ni ma.." sambil membawa keluar the family jewel..

aiyahhhhh..aku rasa cam nak pengsan melihat 'perkembangan'nya. bapak member dah tepuk dahi tengok perangai anak bujang yg tersengih sengih.

So..harus sunat nampak gayanya kan?

the kids story

my kids are growing up so fast.

Alesha is nearing 6 and acting like she is already 10! Can u believe it that she actually can cook rice? well..she did not really cook- cook la. she washed the beras and really keen on doing this and that in kitchen. I dont really remember at what age i started to get interested in home chores. Macam tak pernah je!! Harharhar. doing homechores were more of a need then an interest to me. When mak got sick, i just had to do the cooking and cleaning at home. I would rather be in my room reading a book or before the pc main pc games. tapi mak got to eat and takkan hari hari nak makan makanan beli je kan. SO i learn to cook and do things needed to be done at home. Wasnt good and never good at it too.sampai la skarang.

But Alesha is definitely not me. last weekend we went to pasar. Azhad was well being Azhad - complained about the smelly pasar dengan suara yang sangat kuat. Whilst Alesha cool and was really eager to see sayur and ikan. Aku lak yang rimas. So we bought couple of fishes and 4 udang galah. So 1 for each of family member la kan.

Mak dengan semangatnya nak goreng aje la udang galah tu. After all, kang masak beriya gulai kang, anak-anak tak dapat makan. Alesha was ever the eager to help. siap tukar baju and ikat rambut basuh tangan bagai nak help out in the kitchen. So she was tasked with potong misai n kaki udang. no problem la, except the fact kejab kejab tangan bau udang pegang rambut, kejab kejab gosok muka. lantak laaa..

But the kelakar part was, she didnt even eat the udang. hheheh kosannya member geli sebab part basuh taik/otak udang tu dia nampak aku keluarkan segala macam benda kat kepala udang tu. Langsung mati selera.

Azhad pulak...hmmmph ini lagi satu hal. Dulu rasa cam kiut miut sangat la dia ni. la ni adeehhhh tersangat la keras kepala. Not in a bad way, aku suka jugak that he is very determined and strong willed, but if benda yang dia determine sangat tu ialah makan gula-gula n keropok sebagai makanan ruji, tak ke pening ko? He would be very resourceful sampaikan if gula2 tu kat para tinggi, dia akan terhegeh hegeh angkat bangku yg double his side untuk panjat ambik gula2. sama la if nak ipad ke, main game ke..sanggup tu. tak de nak merenggek nangis ke.Haa ko tak bagi, meh sini aku ambik sendiri.

more to tell about azhad, tapi la ni aku sambil-sambil update blog and buat karangan bm untuk opis ni. so idea aku tak keluar sangat.

Later peeps...

saat yang paling berharga

kelmarin..
Scenario: kejadian tengah malam terjaga sambil pandang muka alesha.
alesha : " semalam kakak dengar mama cakap i love u alesha razan"
me HATI KEMBANG


Semalam...
Scenario: Azhad tido awal. By the time i got home,dia memang dah tertido sampai pagi. At about 1am, dia tergaru garu kena gigit nyamuk. tetiba dia bangun, alihkan the dad's hand from my side, pulled my hand straight and landed his head on my arm.
me : "i love u azhad"
Azhad: angguk walaupun mata tertutup and continue sleeping
me HATI KEMBANG

thank u GOD. ALHAMDULLILAH.

hambik ko!!

hahhaha setahun dowh tak blogging.

I do feel the urges to write once in awhile. simply because i need to be reminded of whats happening in my life.

Baru tadi dok baca entry before before - wow anak aku macam tu ke dulu? kenapa sekarang jadik lain? oohh well kids grow up. apa lagi jawapan nye ye dak.

I am 30 weeks pregnant. yeehaaa!!it was purely planned of course. Though i wonder whether it will ever be time yang aku tetiba tak plan mengandung and ngandung plak. Ohh please GOD - tak sanggup ok!!

It is a heavy one this one. Thank God i am not fat FAT, weight is still under control, but again me is being me - yang dah sememangnya gemuk cam tong drum kan. ive gained about say 5 -6 kgs up until now. weight is about 80kgs. so go figure how fat i was pre-pregnancy. :)

A note to self : like i said, it was a purely planned one. Yes we did want to have all babies in December, but alesha is starting standard 1 come 2012, and mak yang sappy and soappy ni tak sanggup tak hantar her to school on her 1st day. Plus dia yg beriya cakap mama teman kakak 5 hari je lepas tu tak payah. Which was really impressive since she was one cry baby when she started her kindy. Nonetheless, told hubby now way im waiting another december baby in 2012, will be too old by then. so if u wanna have another one, lets get on with it.

So here i am, 7 months after, dengan perut yang rasa nak terpecah whenever there is movement. Baby #3 is somewhat different from Alesha n Azhad. I remembered Alesha's movement macam butterfly in stomach gitu. dainty blurping movement in my tummy. Azhad was more agressive with a kick and punches here and there. tapi yang ni...korang tengok tak movie Constantine yang part baby dlm perut heroin tu.Haa lebih kurang ni. im cramping a lot. and when it moves, its like the entire tummy rumbles and mengeras. Macam tak cukup space and the baby is forcing my tummy to accommodate it.

Health wise alhamdullilah baby is doing ok. we did a full scan for the 1st time. giler freak out aku because we didnt have one for the 1st two. and when i googled for it, i got to know full scan is when u know whether u gonna have like health probs baby - sumbing la, jantung probs la, spina bifida etc things like that. Laki mak cool giler sebab he couldnt be bothered pun nak tau apa purpose full scan tu, but when the radiologist (what do u call the expert yg buat ultra sound tu?) bagitau ohh tak sumbing etc, baru cam meloncat. Eh ada possibility ke anak dia sumbing? Haaaa...baru ko tau gabranya aku before scan tu.

Imagine hearing bad news and knowing its your unborn baby? tak ke cam nak tercabut nyawa?

but like i said, alhamdullilah, semua ok. Aku je la yg tak berapa sihat. Will be doing my kencing manis test next week. Darah tinggi tu on off and semanjang on the high side. Im on trundate - ke apa nama ubat darah tinggi tu. tapi aku ni mmg hampeh.tak reti nak makan ubat on daily basis. kejab makan kejab tak makan. camna nak buat tu?hmm tawakal aje lah. dah memang sendiri yg carik penyakit.

Kali ni cam freak out sikit nak beranak. I am seriously considering epi. mak kan ala ala macho beranak 2 orang drug free. Siap refure any drug kan. sekali ambik ko, sakit cam nak tercabut pankreas masa beranak azhad. so la ni cam tengah tergiang giang rasa sakit beranak tu. apakah aku mampu nak tahan kali ni. But im a believer that God will not give u something that u cannot endure. Chet - cakap aje, nanti tunggu beranak aku cerita lagi.

Lain kali cerita lagi. have tonnes of things to write. later later la wokey.

Happy Birthday Abang!!

Yes..its this lil'kid birthday last Saturday.

Azhad Razan now is officially 2 years old!!

I dont really know what to write. But somehow obligated to write something just to commemorate his big day.

We had a small (small? apa kes nak dekat 30 orang la!!) makan makan with the inlaw. As many of them are not in Malaysia, majlis tu jadik sedang-sedang aje! ok la heks memandangkan maknye pun tak larat nak melayan sangat.

oohh kakak alesha harus ada yea. birthday nyer next week ni.

Thanks to the inlaws yang masak itu ini - mak masak spaghetii je- memang enak enak segalanya.

As tradition for the inlaw, any birthday celebration akan jadik celebration beramai ramai. nama dalam kek harus ada nama semua orang yea. though mak yang satu ni kenkonon nak exclusive anak-anak dia, but what the heck, budak-budak ni lagi suka bila the cuz are around.

malas nak jadik soapy nak flashback ke apa. takde idea nak menulis doink.

Happy birthday Azhad dear. may all your dreams come true

i miss this

azhad had finally wean-off. in fact tak de hunger-pang or teringin-teringin dah. but boy being boy (or so ive been told) hobinye adalah meraba raba ok. kadang kadang tengah malam mata lelap pun boleh meraba. sometimes (most of the times) he will pretend mama nak acu and senyum senyum kambing sambil landing kepala dia kat dada. mak okaje, cuma takut kena ngap ngan gigi dia yg dah cam cendawan kala lepas hujan tu.

but despite all that, i really miss this


haiiii bila lagi nak beranak kecik ni..

SOALAN MENCABAR MINDA

oohh puan puan, saya telah mendapat satu soalan kejang perut dari anak dara saya itu.
soalannya berbunyi : mama, Allah tingal mana?

tak terkedu ke aku nak jawab. tapi sebab mam memang carik makan ngan mulut,makanyajawaban yg tak berapa menjawab soalan mak
berbunyi: Allah tinggal dalam hati kita.

so guys, what would you answer be to your 4 yrs old??

the story on azhad

i think im at the stage where blogging doesnt excites me anymore - ape ke bengong blogging boleh gumbirakan aku???

anyways..azhad dah wean off since last sat. still cranky crazy especially time nak nite feed. first nite aku rasa the entire flat can hear him meraung nak susu. Giler kesian aku tengok. Not for the lack of trying to re-bf him, but dia dah freak out kot after the traumatised experience minum susu rasa lain. a fren gave this ranting pokok to wean off (ppl use coffee la..jadam la etc). aku pun tenyeh la without any feeling. Wallahh..tetiba azhad tak mau dah.

Masuk the 5th nite, he was still cranky. tapi volume dah kurang sket la. cuma he wanted to be carried bila time feeding tu. I think he is remembering the closeness during feeding. kesian betul.

oohh well...he is a big baby anyhows. mak pun banyak naa masalah kesihatan yg nak dilook after. I just wish he will drink more bottle susu when is around me je.

idea tarak

Idea nak memblog langsung tak de.

Azhad tetiba kena diagnose asthmatic. On monday, balik dari kerja berdesut jantung aku tengok dia dah napas pendek pendek. Nak pergi klinik pakar dah malam. Tried jugak ventolin nebulizer tapi tak berapa lega. cranky giler, tido pun prop-up atas bantal. Kejab kejab jaga merengek. makan tak nyusu tak makan..asyik nak dukung.

The next day langsung aku gerak pi pakar. siap kena sound ni kira teruk ni..berdesut lagi jantung aku sebab biar anak aku suffer sepanjang malam. Sekali kuar bilik doktor, siap berkepuk kepuk ubat campur inhaler sampai 2. huhuhu rabak mak. tak pe laa...asal anak aku sihat.

Hari ni dah nampak cam ok sikit. laki aku dah gundah gulana dia takde geng nak main bola. harapnyer prevention medicine tu works laa. aminn

i love u

anak bujang saya...

Saya rasa saya jarang bercerita tentang Azhad. Kenapa ya? hmmm agaknya memang trend sejak dari perut lagi kot. sebab seingat saya, masa saya mengandungkan Azhad, memang saya tak berapa suka bercerita tentang kandungan (cerita la jugak yea..tapi tak sehebat waktu zaman Alesha). Saya lagi suka layan perasaan syok sendiri sambil usap perut.

Bila azhad dah besar ni pun, saya rasa posting saya lebih banyak tentang Alesha. ahh kesian anak teruna saya. harus ada cerita pasal Azhad, nanti saya sendiri boleh membaca dan teringat kisah lampau.

Azhad orang yang:-

• sangat cheeky and very playful. Kadang-kadang azhad jatuhkan barang dengan this look on his face and cecepat lari lepas jatuhkan barang tu sambil ketawa terkekek.



• pandai main - Azhad pandai main kejar-kejar, pandai main cak cak, pandai main kuda-kuda. Pantang orang ramai, Azhad akan ikut sekali. Ada this one time, Azhad jadik tukang kejar cousin yang lain. He purposely rode on his too small kereta sorong untuk kerja orang sambil jerit jerit.



• very active - Azhad sangat active dibandingkan kakak. very messy jugak la!! (ini traits ibunya ya, so i am not complaining MUCH). Oleh itu, selalu sangat Azhad kena jerit sebab semakkan rumah and such.



• very loving n manja - maybe sebab Azhad bf, Azhad a bit depended dengan saya. He could just come up to me simply to hug and kiss for no reason. Itu belum lagi tiba-tiba dalam duduk dalam pangku sambil letak kepala atas riba.

• suka ketawa dan senyum - Azhad is a happy baby most of the times. Senyum ketawa jerit senyum ketawa jerit. saya kadang-kadang turut ketawa tanpa tahu kenapa Azhad ketawa.
  

Suami saya complain Azhad jadik a bit robust bila saya ada dirumah. ketawa kuat, menangis kuat, terlebih active dan sebagainya. Bila saya tiada, he is just a like a normal kid (really?) yang manageable and easily entertained.

Teori saya merasakan bila berada di samping Azhad, Azhad rasa perlu untuk show-off his skills dan kepandaian. Itulah pasal dia terlebih semuanya.

Tapi kata suami saya..Tidak....Azhad jadik camtu kerana back-up mama yang kuat. (??)

i love u Azhad.

Perangai itu lagi

Anak saya buat perangai lagi. huhuhu

Pagi ini dengan nada yang sangat tenang dia telah mengatakan.

"Mama tak nak pergi sekolah"

saya dengan tenang pun bertanya:-

" Kenapa?"

Dia lagi tenang dari saya menjawab:

"Tak tahu.tapi kakak memang dah tak nak sekolah dah."

Dari cara percakapannya dan level kematangan anak saya, saya tahu dia memang dah tak mahu ke sekolah..LANGSUNG. bukan hari ini, bukan esok atau bila dia mengantuk. tapi memang dia tak mahu sekolah.

Saya tidak mahu mentraumakan keadaan telah bangun dan mengosok baju suami saya. Selang beberapa ketika, suami saya telah memanggil saya dan memberitahu perkara ini:-

"Alesha kata dia tak mau sekolah sebab kat situ semua orang cakap cina."

Ohhh sungguh bersalah rasa hati saya mendengar kata-kata itu. Adakah saya tersalah menghantar tadika sehinggakan anak saya merasa sungguh tidak memberansangkan untuk belajar. Adakah saya salah kerana cuba untuk melatih anak saya agar pandai bergaul meskipun dalam keadaan yang bukan kehendaknya?

Hati saya terdetik (dan memang dah terdetik beberapa ketika yang lepas) bahawa dia tak sukakan suasana disekolahnya. Anak saya sangat chatty orangnya. Mungkin kerana bahasa rasmi sekolah itu ialah bahasa english dan bahasa tak berapa rasminya ialah bahasa Mandarin, anak saya rasa terpinggir dan bukan dalam element nya. Tapi seringkali waktu saya meninjau ninjau dia di sekolah, terutamanya waktu dia tidak perasan kehadiran saya, saya dapati dia berkawan dengan baik, meskipun ibarat ayam dan itik. Yang lebih membanggakan saya, adakalanya saya lihat dia berbicara di dalam bahasa english di sekolah bersama teman-teman meskipun ianya hanyala sekadar no dan yes.

saya sangat dilema. Terutamanya sekarang ini adalah waktu untuk membayar yuran persekolahan. patutkah saya memberhentikan dia dan menyekolahkan dia di Tadika Kemas atau Tadika yang bahasa rasminya bahasa Melayu, lalu saya dapat menabung yuran yang sepatutnya saya bayar? Atau saya teruskan aje persekolahannya dengan harapan dan pegangan bahawa kanak-kanak adalah seperti sebuah span yang akan menyerap apa sahaja disekelilingnya.

nota kaki: saya baru sahaja membuat laporan parlimen di dalam bahasa melayu. ohh alangkah bersabutnya bahasa melayu ku.

whats up with me.

I have been super duper bz..

First because of this...Cuti-cuti serumpun. 5 hari. Penat mak cakap slang lain. Cam dah jadik annual trip la pulak ya merasa jadik orang kaya pegang duit juta juta. hahaha


Juga kerana ini...yang si kecik tu demam seminggu. rambut dah ditogelkan. SUnnguh tahap melampau dah kenakalannya selepas rambut togel.tetiba rasa cam tak vogue lak rambut pendek anak aku ni.

Yang tua ni pulak masih mengada. Still dan masih lagi menangis gi skolah pun menambahkan kestressan aku.Pic yg pegang whiteboard tu adalah pic eksyen dia menulis huruf B (yang aku dengar sebutannyer cam bunyi P pun ada D pun ada - confius mak). Juga ada la selit selit pic yg geng geng dia masa cuti ritu.

but mostly because of this...ohh..sila la abaikan muka aku yg glam tak tentu pasal tu yea..Aku perasan nak jadik rozita che wan. Dan juga desk aku yg penuh sampah sarap. .hahaha..BTW: semua tudung telah diborong oleh orang keliling aku..ada berani mau order sama aku?

these are the things that kept me away from blogging. Nanti aku datang seru aku blog lain. ciao

Bad Mama Mode

I am a bad mother today. My heart is bleeding and there is nothing i can do.

I just left Alesha at her kindy's front gate, where she was dragged out of the car screaming and kicking and crying for me. I am about 50 mtr away from the kindy in my car and i think i can hear her crying out - or is it just imagination.

Good mothers out there - what should i do?

Alesha's 1st day at School

on the way to school.. Muka sangat excited.


dah sampai classroom..properly seated ..(tgh hangat lagi). Mak pak sangatla bangga sebab anak dok diam kat classroom sensoranng.




Assembly session. Nyanyi-nyanyi ntah apa-apa. Keteraburan dan background menjerit jerit dengan volume yang sangat maximum

budak yang tengah pegang teacher tu nangis dari mula aku masuk sampai la aku balik. Mak Pak takde. Bagus betul mak dia tinggalkan cam tu je. (not cynically tau. Aku memang respek mak pak yg keras hati nak bagi anak adjust diri sendiri - sakit ati aku pandang mak yg lebih dari anak siap dok kat kusi sebelah anak..)


Anak aku kat depan sebab dia paling kecik. hehehe. budak tu still nanges lagi..

Balik dari assembly. dah huru hara sedikit. tempat duduk pun orang lain dah duduk. Mode mantain masih ada.




pastu ada playground session. tgh main, the place got too crowded with kids from 2 classes. Alesha got restless n somehow terspot kitaorang yg kat tepi. Ended up tetiba nak susu.

Lepastu tu all hell break loose sampai satu cubitan telah dilepaskan. Cerita ringkas nye, aku ended up IN the classroom with the kids. Buek malu den yooo

Attempt today berjaya sampai pukul 10.00 am je. We'll see tomorrow

anak oh anak

scene malam jumaat pukul 11.30 malam:

Mak : mana cantek..mama ke mama dlm tv tu (Vanida Imran yea korang - sah-sah la sapa yg lagi cantek kan..
Anak : mama laa..
Mak : ya ke..so dah besar nanti nak jadik cam mama la
Anak : mmm mama cantek ..kakak sayang mama ...banyakkkkkkk (sambil tangan didepakan)
Mak : ya laaa...dah mama cantek, nanti kaka besar rupa cam mama laaa
Anak : kakak nak perut cam papa tak nak perut cam mama..tapi kakak sayang mama banyak...

hahhahah..adoiiiiii...nampak sangat la aku ni dah tahap obese kan? tapi attempt nak cover line itu sangatlah aku puji..

home alone

i am home alone with 2 sleeping kids. One is hanging by his mouth to my chest as if his dear life depends on it. Whilst the other one is hugging my left arm as if my arm is her life support machine. Yes people, i am super woman who can type with only her right hand. Too many days of IRC-ing back in college years i must say!!

Hubby is out with his friend to a massage parlor. Hehhehe bunyi KTV je sebut massage parlor. He is out getting his feet (and and maybe body) massage. Called me while he was doing fish spa and called me again to let me know his massage turn is up. Hehehhe..i bet itu perasaan guilty yang mencengkam sebab moi have to stay home with kids.

But as usual, i am very good at manuevering the kids to sleep. Azhad is pretty simple case of drugging him to sleep. Best drug ever!! hehhehe..susu gantung moi is the best drug to put him to sleep.

Alesha ..well..i dont think she would be sleeping yet but for the little trick i used. heheh bad mama. Its the cat behind you trick!!Simply tunjuk n cakap Sha cat kat belakang.. she was jumping with fright and terselit celah ketiak sampai tertido ketakutan. Its simply ridiculopus since we are in the living room before the tv. Mana la pulak nak datanng cat.hehe. Asalkan menjadi for them to go to sleep. lantaklak.

and Alesha, in case your kids and husband asked u where/how u got your cat phobia, just know that on Saturday 28 December 2008, while u were seating cutely on the 2 chairs papa stacked up for u, di Gerai Kondo tunggu order dinner kita, a cat sneaked up behind u with u realising it only after several seconds. Itu pun after mama terperanjat beruk dengan menjerit sedikit ketakutan yang telah menambahkan ketakutan Sha

NITE FEEDING - EBM

Saya rasa saya tanya kat sini je lah. tak yah bukak thread baru. Rasa dah baca semua post kat thread ni tapi tak cakap pun camna aturan ebm masa waktu malam. camna u guys buat? Baby tak jerit-jerit ke memalam waktu kita perangatkan ebm? ada advice tak on fastest way to prepare ebm?

hEHHEHE di atas adalah post aku di forum yang sangat di'sukai' oleh Fid. (kuikuikui). But seriously, camna aku nak have the fastest ebm nite feeding? Semalam aku buat trial-run, he woke up about 5 times, but not for constant feeding, merely suckling 5 minutes cam tu je. Aku dok memikirkan cara nak menyenangkan my SIL since u'll know la the pressure suh aku stop ebm to Azhad. Akku tak mau le benda-benda yang overly nyusahkan dia ni meng-demotivated kan dia untuk tolong aku continue bf azhad.

aku merasakan begini tau aku nak buat:

Option A:
Simpan 2 -3 0z dalam 3 -4 botol. Botol tak payah letak dlm fridge. Biar kat room temp. So bila dia nak minum, sumbat aje the room temp ebm

Kerisauan 1
Tapi tahan ke ebm tu? FYI, aku tak rasa its gonna be fresh ebm. MEsti aku ambik dari freezer and leave to thaw kat luar aje until its time to be consumed. Apa yg aku risau, ialah ebm yg dah dekat2 subuh n early morning tu

Option B:
Simpan all ebm dlm peti. Put 1 ebm dalam bottle warmer on constant on - slow heat. Bila dia nangis pukul 2-3 am tu, straight sumbat. (provided tak terlalu panas la). Lepas pakai that ebm, immediately top-up new ebm dlm bottle warmer untuk next feeding time.

Kerisauan 1:
Bottle warmer tu akan keep warm ke? atau off automatik kalau dia dah panas. Camni basi la kan kalau dia auto off bila dah panas?

Kerisauan 2:
Kalau dia keep warm, boleh minum lagi ke ebm tu kalau dia dah on warmer for more than 1 hour? tu kan?

camna orang kat umah korang handle ebm untuk korang masa malam if korang takde?

sepetang ahad yg lalu

A day at burger king@ where the parents were happily eating their hearts out.