Thursday, November 26, 2009

loveless us

Ive been married for more than 5 years and have been with the same guy for total of close to 15 years. Of course married life has its ups and downs. sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit kata orang. with 2 kids and more we are planning..i am ok with my life now.

but i often wonders about people around me. I have at least 4 friends who are in a loveless marriage. Yes they go about living life like anyone else. they have the occasional sex and good times vacationing and such, but being a friend whom they shared intimate stories - i just dont see love in their eyes anymore.

One outrightly declared so that she is in because of money. not to blame her since we all have loans under shared names. I was even the one who asked her to stay in the relationship when she was talking about divorce and such. Looking at her situation, i couldnt really put the fault on her. His infidelity was the breaking point.

One because of the kids. Well..we all love our kids dont we. but i just dont know how you can go home and stay loyal to a person you are not in love with. i think thats an affair-waiting to happen, but what can i say. at least he is a good father. A good husband - maybe so too, but i really couldnt blame him if he do have an affair one day. I guess, thats what happened after 10 years if u married someone 'because it was the right time' to do so.

One jumped head down into marriage life though i think it was the biggest mistake of his life. and the fact that the wifey is close to 10 years older than him will not be helping at all. Now he is lovey dovey and even expecting first born less than 5 months after being married. 2nd biggest mistake i see coming. But i couldnt be telling him that since kids shouldnt the be problems. They have bring me heavenly joy so far.

But we all know raising a kid (or kids) is not an easy tasked. most couple even fight over matters concerning kid. that will add more pressure to an already 'steaming' condition. I just hope he will be a good husband and a loyal one too.

One is still married though i really dont see the point if both of them are flirting and having relationship with other people. The relationship is a puzzle to me even.

I dont know what i will do if im in such situation. do i expect love or loyalty? could i live with just one or will i just wither and lose all hope?

Will you be in a relationship if u are not in love anymore and remain loyal though you know there is someone out there for you?