But now looking back..and reading my previous post - i think i should re-blogged. its good for the soul. And mak punya urat urat yg dah banyak putus ni - so senang la nak ingat balik what i did when i did it.
Anyhows..her name is Afea Razan. A simple befitting name of her then condition. Afea maksudnya sihat wal'afiat kot. Hahahha she was so small we were scared of losing her. I was such in low spirit when she was in incubation for a week. Senang cerita - saya takut anak saya mati. It was such a bad bad depressing feeling. takut anak kena pijak la..takut ada penyakit la..takut retarded la..fuhh macam macam ok. She was only as long as my elbow and was so small her eyes were bulging out. When i hold her in my arm, i just have her on 1 hand and people often mistaken i was carrying a bunch of kain lampin. imagine that.
it was such a journey having Afea. I agreed to have the Csec for friday (instead on the next friday) after -lantak la apa nak jadi jadi la - attitude and short discussion over the phone with Dear Hubs on Thurs' nite. Lebih kurang pukul 10 malam, when the nurse came for my routine bp check up - i said bawak keluar esok aje la. Tolong bagitau doktor. And at about 12 midnite, the nurse came back and confirmed my Csec at 8.00am the next day. Telefon laki bagi tau, and time subuh dah prep prep nak prepare masuk OR. Dear Hubs came at about 730 i was already dressed for OR. pukul 8.00 masuk OR, belum sempat laki mak nak masuk pegang tangan ke apa yang patut, Afea dah keluar. Itupun he got in afea was halfway out of the body and sebab nurse dah sibuk jerit jerit tanya bapak dia mana ni. Boleh tak pak ngko ingat beranak Csec lama macam beranak biasa. aiyahhhhh pengsan la ini macam!
Afea was in incubation for about 1 week. Time tu la i had to journey to/fro hospital to bf her. alhamdullilah she was fully bf for 6 months. lepas tu macam nak meroyan trying to get her to be on full bf. I have to say your resolution / determination have to be really really strong..
Time Azhad, we shared the bond for 1 years and 8 months. itu pun sebab i was in extreme pain sebab dia dah teething.
Time Afea ni, rasa cam tak cukup kakitangan nak fully bf. mana nak siap kerja, mana nak check homework, mana nak ngajar si azhad..so for my peace of mind, i had decided to just campurkan her susu. So when she was about 8 months i had to raise the white flag and just surrendered.
She was still on mom's milk. At nite or during weekend. Dear Hubs said lets give it until shes a year old to start thinking of weaning her off. Mak is in desperate need to do her body yang dah pakai size 16 ni yea.
Until laters...will write more - hopefully.