34th week and maybe not counting

am writing this post on the bed at the hospital.

been in and out from ward since i was at week 32 due to hypertension. 1st day puasa dah kena admit sebab bp rocketing high - 160 over 90++ rasanya. macam serah diri bulat-bulat je. dengan tak bawak baju etc, datang for the monthly checkup - ended 4 hari warded. sampai hari yg ke 11 ni, still tak puasa, sebab kena sumbat ubat. mampos la aku nak ganti puasa.

On the 4th August, doctor bagi balik with a week mc and a letter confirming that i may not be able to come in for work until delivery. Kisahnya aku dah kena preeclampsia. Shit - i have a name for the damn high bp now!! rasa kalau high bp tu, alaaa lepak la, ko stress bp naik kan, ini dah jadik penyakit la plak. Pastu dah ada uric acid ke apa ntah dalam urine. part ni aku tak tau sangat. belum sempat google.

Dapat la 'cuti' seminggu mengangkang kat rumah. merasa la jadik mem besar. tapi penat jugak la. bulan puasa la kan. mata ni asyik memberat je makan ubat, tapi kena la bawak bawak bangun sahut bagi bapaknya makan, bangunkan anak anak sekolah. itu pun memanjang terlajak je anak aku sebab maknya pakat tido lepas masak sahur.

So hari ni, check up lagi. rasa cam mentally dah ok dah. sekali ambik ko, protein in urine dah 4+. aku pun tak tahu la apa kah maknanya. harus kejab lagi aku google. elok-elok boleh kuar lepak kat rumah sambil tunggu beranak, hambik ko, masuk balik ward. adeiii sengal aku dibuatnya.

to make it worst, masa memula tu kenkonon by week 36 nak bawak kuar baby, sekali dah macam ni, doktor sound, tak boleh tunggu, harus kuarnya like the latest on monday. aku dok pikir nak buat bila. monday ke esok je. sama je gamaknya. aku tunggu sampai monday pun, bukan nya ada big difference pun kan. hehhe bil hospital ada la differentnya. rabak dah laki aku. dah la hari tu admit 4 hari dah rm1000++. ni lagi 4hari ntah brp pulak, belum lagi charges beranak - yg confirm confirm c-sec. belum lagi charges baby. hahahhahaha tak pe la ke kekanda, ambik ko merasa anak last ni menanggung.

oh yes, this maybe our last one. tak tercapai la cita-cita aku nak anak 5.doktor rekomen untuk ikat sebab likelihood the same illness serang time pregnancy is really high. aku pun rasa at the age of penghujung 33 ni, nak beranak apa lagi. so if confirm c-sec, aku ikat aje la.

harus takde gambar apa-apa. niat hati nak cam whore ngan pressie baru, tapi dah kata warded mengejut, kamera pun ntah mana aku letak aku tak hingat. ni pump pun belum basuh, baju baby pun aku bajet dobi aje la ni. semua dah tak sempat. sib baik ada kenkawan. jamu n bengkung pun kenkawan yg belikan. aku main maybank2u je duit kat korang.

tak tau nak story apa lagi. aku harap aku branak esok. dapat slot time. memula doktor nak kasi baranak senin. aku paksa paksa hari jumaat esok gak. dapat jumaat, laki aku la kero -terkesima rasa tak ready. suh aku tukar senin. aku dah tukar senin, siap kena sound ngan nurse dah - jangan tukar tukar, sekali malam tadi pukul 10 baru dia datang visit aku dia kata ok la pulak hari jumaat. hish, tebal dah muka aku nak mintak sembelih esok. nampak naa banyak songeh.

hari ni agaknya hari bangla/pakistan sedunia beranak kot. dah 3 orang beranak kat ward recovery ni semua orang ni. pastu jerit terlolong lak tu. aku rasa cam nak lempang sorang-sorang. tau la sakit, tapi jangan la sampai sebatu jauh menjerit. langsung naik darah aku dengar dia menjerit.

ok ok. better stop now. kang tak cukup naik lagi darah aku. nurse ni pun asyik usha aku suh tido. tak sedar aku dah naik majal ni asyik tido je. haram betul.

harap dapat beranak esok la. tak larat dah dok dalam ward. cau cin cau...

early pressie

Aku ni memang jenis meminta minta. I feel that thats my right. Nak beli, belikan, taknak beli, aku beli sendiri. Boleh?

So come birthday aku yg ke 30an ni...eceeewaaahhh...aku nak camera. I want a small simple camera. Ada la camera cabuk family punya tu, tapi balik balik aku on semua pic kerja laki aku je. potong stim betul.

So memandangkan besday aku nanti time time nak branak..and silap haribulan, kena induce, harus la aku mintak sekarang kang.

so 25 july haritu, alang-alang dah mc, laki aku tarik pi low yat. tak tau la mahal ke idak, aku apa benda lebih rm200 aku rasa mahal dah.ada camera rega rm50 mau aku beli kalau pun gedabak boleh buat kojol baling anjing.

untuk paknya, terima kasih wokey. ni ambik pic yg ditangkap dari kamera hadiah u bagi ni..

of a short vacay and circumcision..Yes you read it right!

We went to PD last week. A short 2d1n stay at residence desa lagoon. Sangat la best nye since the place was like a small island just for us. Practically not a single soul around - ok thats pushing it too far..ada la 4 5 orang at the pool but we basically conquered the place.

Kids were playing at jacuzi pool sampai main tabur tabur bunga cas mandi bunga. Dont know where they get the idea. The hubbies cas budak kecik main water gun lawan with the kids at the shallow end of the pool - mak jadik dugong sebab too heavy to move. well..not dugong exactly, lebih kepada whale yang mati terdampar di tepi pantai. Yup..that would be a more correct description.

Went there at about 11.30 after breakfast and Alesha's Parent-Teacher Day. Shes done superbly good. Semua ok except 1 -2 math questions and some of confusion about kata nama khas.

Arrived at about 1. check in lepak lepak mandi pool. No picture taken. tak kuasa nak membawa kamera n the toys. yg sememangnya wajib 1 bakul besar whenever g beach. Very very nice weather and sea condition. Anak-anak yg takut ombak sampai boleh berani lepak skali ngan mak/pak yg bergumbira berborak tgk laut. Air cetek time tu la katakan.

Sampai rumah Ahad at about malam tu. Dengan alesha kena cirit birit sikit salah makan apa ntah.

the next day i was on MC. bebudak tu pun gerak-gerak suh pi sekolah cam batu masing-masing. Langsung la ponteng sekolah 1 hari.

Petangnya lepak lepak kat rumah i switched on Burlesque. You know the story la - girls in slinky kinky clothing dancing here and there. Alesha and azhad tengok siap seronok pay full concentration tuh. Alesha i know la...shes into anything make up dancing and pretty dresses. SO i know she likes watching such movie.

Yang cerita nya ni..si azhad tetiba tengah syok syok tengok the pretty girls grinding and doing all sorts of pole dancing things, cakap..

"mama..tengok kot** azhad ni ma.." sambil membawa keluar the family jewel..

aiyahhhhh..aku rasa cam nak pengsan melihat 'perkembangan'nya. bapak member dah tepuk dahi tengok perangai anak bujang yg tersengih sengih.

So..harus sunat nampak gayanya kan?

panikiyon? ko ado??

ni yang anak dara aku tulis last week. Dia tulis lama dah. tapi la ni baru aku baca sebab member dok letak dalam beg jahitan manik aku, yg makin sayup aku nampak (mood malas memanik dah mari!!)

So smalam member kena bagi by hand la. aku penah la pikir apa panikiyon tu..ghopenye pedicure !!! dia ngaku yg buat kuku tu kakak tak tau nak tulis camna la mama. Sah sah aku sengau sebut pedicure sampai dia boleh tulis panikiyon as what she heard.

Upload the pic to my fb. Laki aku dah cas aku ngaja anak dara bukan-bukan. elleehhhh apa lagi aktiviti nak buat ngan anak pompuan sendiri kan???

the kids story

my kids are growing up so fast.

Alesha is nearing 6 and acting like she is already 10! Can u believe it that she actually can cook rice? well..she did not really cook- cook la. she washed the beras and really keen on doing this and that in kitchen. I dont really remember at what age i started to get interested in home chores. Macam tak pernah je!! Harharhar. doing homechores were more of a need then an interest to me. When mak got sick, i just had to do the cooking and cleaning at home. I would rather be in my room reading a book or before the pc main pc games. tapi mak got to eat and takkan hari hari nak makan makanan beli je kan. SO i learn to cook and do things needed to be done at home. Wasnt good and never good at it too.sampai la skarang.

But Alesha is definitely not me. last weekend we went to pasar. Azhad was well being Azhad - complained about the smelly pasar dengan suara yang sangat kuat. Whilst Alesha cool and was really eager to see sayur and ikan. Aku lak yang rimas. So we bought couple of fishes and 4 udang galah. So 1 for each of family member la kan.

Mak dengan semangatnya nak goreng aje la udang galah tu. After all, kang masak beriya gulai kang, anak-anak tak dapat makan. Alesha was ever the eager to help. siap tukar baju and ikat rambut basuh tangan bagai nak help out in the kitchen. So she was tasked with potong misai n kaki udang. no problem la, except the fact kejab kejab tangan bau udang pegang rambut, kejab kejab gosok muka. lantak laaa..

But the kelakar part was, she didnt even eat the udang. hheheh kosannya member geli sebab part basuh taik/otak udang tu dia nampak aku keluarkan segala macam benda kat kepala udang tu. Langsung mati selera.

Azhad pulak...hmmmph ini lagi satu hal. Dulu rasa cam kiut miut sangat la dia ni. la ni adeehhhh tersangat la keras kepala. Not in a bad way, aku suka jugak that he is very determined and strong willed, but if benda yang dia determine sangat tu ialah makan gula-gula n keropok sebagai makanan ruji, tak ke pening ko? He would be very resourceful sampaikan if gula2 tu kat para tinggi, dia akan terhegeh hegeh angkat bangku yg double his side untuk panjat ambik gula2. sama la if nak ipad ke, main game ke..sanggup tu. tak de nak merenggek nangis ke.Haa ko tak bagi, meh sini aku ambik sendiri.

more to tell about azhad, tapi la ni aku sambil-sambil update blog and buat karangan bm untuk opis ni. so idea aku tak keluar sangat.

Later peeps...

macamana nak bagi ilang daaa

korang nampak tak photobucket icon kat scroll icon yg patut ada cursor mouse tu? alaa yg everytime korang scroll mouse icon tu ikut?

aku sendiri yang letak, aku sendiri dah lupa camna nak buang.

ada sapa tau?

saat yang paling berharga

kelmarin..
Scenario: kejadian tengah malam terjaga sambil pandang muka alesha.
alesha : " semalam kakak dengar mama cakap i love u alesha razan"
me HATI KEMBANG


Semalam...
Scenario: Azhad tido awal. By the time i got home,dia memang dah tertido sampai pagi. At about 1am, dia tergaru garu kena gigit nyamuk. tetiba dia bangun, alihkan the dad's hand from my side, pulled my hand straight and landed his head on my arm.
me : "i love u azhad"
Azhad: angguk walaupun mata tertutup and continue sleeping
me HATI KEMBANG

thank u GOD. ALHAMDULLILAH.

hambik ko!!

hahhaha setahun dowh tak blogging.

I do feel the urges to write once in awhile. simply because i need to be reminded of whats happening in my life.

Baru tadi dok baca entry before before - wow anak aku macam tu ke dulu? kenapa sekarang jadik lain? oohh well kids grow up. apa lagi jawapan nye ye dak.

I am 30 weeks pregnant. yeehaaa!!it was purely planned of course. Though i wonder whether it will ever be time yang aku tetiba tak plan mengandung and ngandung plak. Ohh please GOD - tak sanggup ok!!

It is a heavy one this one. Thank God i am not fat FAT, weight is still under control, but again me is being me - yang dah sememangnya gemuk cam tong drum kan. ive gained about say 5 -6 kgs up until now. weight is about 80kgs. so go figure how fat i was pre-pregnancy. :)

A note to self : like i said, it was a purely planned one. Yes we did want to have all babies in December, but alesha is starting standard 1 come 2012, and mak yang sappy and soappy ni tak sanggup tak hantar her to school on her 1st day. Plus dia yg beriya cakap mama teman kakak 5 hari je lepas tu tak payah. Which was really impressive since she was one cry baby when she started her kindy. Nonetheless, told hubby now way im waiting another december baby in 2012, will be too old by then. so if u wanna have another one, lets get on with it.

So here i am, 7 months after, dengan perut yang rasa nak terpecah whenever there is movement. Baby #3 is somewhat different from Alesha n Azhad. I remembered Alesha's movement macam butterfly in stomach gitu. dainty blurping movement in my tummy. Azhad was more agressive with a kick and punches here and there. tapi yang ni...korang tengok tak movie Constantine yang part baby dlm perut heroin tu.Haa lebih kurang ni. im cramping a lot. and when it moves, its like the entire tummy rumbles and mengeras. Macam tak cukup space and the baby is forcing my tummy to accommodate it.

Health wise alhamdullilah baby is doing ok. we did a full scan for the 1st time. giler freak out aku because we didnt have one for the 1st two. and when i googled for it, i got to know full scan is when u know whether u gonna have like health probs baby - sumbing la, jantung probs la, spina bifida etc things like that. Laki mak cool giler sebab he couldnt be bothered pun nak tau apa purpose full scan tu, but when the radiologist (what do u call the expert yg buat ultra sound tu?) bagitau ohh tak sumbing etc, baru cam meloncat. Eh ada possibility ke anak dia sumbing? Haaaa...baru ko tau gabranya aku before scan tu.

Imagine hearing bad news and knowing its your unborn baby? tak ke cam nak tercabut nyawa?

but like i said, alhamdullilah, semua ok. Aku je la yg tak berapa sihat. Will be doing my kencing manis test next week. Darah tinggi tu on off and semanjang on the high side. Im on trundate - ke apa nama ubat darah tinggi tu. tapi aku ni mmg hampeh.tak reti nak makan ubat on daily basis. kejab makan kejab tak makan. camna nak buat tu?hmm tawakal aje lah. dah memang sendiri yg carik penyakit.

Kali ni cam freak out sikit nak beranak. I am seriously considering epi. mak kan ala ala macho beranak 2 orang drug free. Siap refure any drug kan. sekali ambik ko, sakit cam nak tercabut pankreas masa beranak azhad. so la ni cam tengah tergiang giang rasa sakit beranak tu. apakah aku mampu nak tahan kali ni. But im a believer that God will not give u something that u cannot endure. Chet - cakap aje, nanti tunggu beranak aku cerita lagi.

Lain kali cerita lagi. have tonnes of things to write. later later la wokey.